that my fingers were fidgeting and I pressed them against my thighs to still them. Thighs that Kiran had stroked just this morning.
My breath went a little shallow and I tried not to think of that. A part of me still believed those erotic, wonderful moments had been some sort of weird dream, even though I knew they’d happened. I’d found the beginnings of Kiran’s seed on the back of my tunic, where he’d ground into me, when I’d undressed for my bath.
A deep flush started at my neck but I cleared my throat again, trying to focus.
Hinna continued, not seeming to realize the direction of my thoughts, “But there were some females. In the horde.”
My jaw tightened.
“There was a female,” I said quietly, “who was there when I arrived at the horde. She asked to speak with the Vorakkar in private. I got the sense they’d been together before.”
“I remember. Her given name is Jinir,” Hinna confided in me.
I met her eyes in the mirror.
“And was she one of the females?” I asked.
“So she claims,” Hinna told me and I felt that jealousy pierce me again. But of course Kiran would’ve had sex with other females. It had been nine years. There had never been promises made between us and he was a Vorakkar in his prime. “It was a couple years ago. She told her companions, so naturally the entire horde knows. The Vorakkar was not…pleased about it. She has been trying to get back into his furs since. Unsuccessfully.”
My lips pressed together. Nik, Kiran would not have been pleased that she’d gone around the horde bragging about their bed play. Kiran had always been private. As Vorakkar, I imagined he was even more so.
“And you said it has been some time since his last female?” I asked quietly.
Hinna’s voice lowered. “None I can remember hearing of since before the last frost.”
Over a year?
No wonder he’d looked frustrated this morning. I remembered his angry, flushed cock, which made me nibble on my lip.
“Kakkira vor, for telling me,” I finally said, getting control of my rapid heartbeat.
I realized it didn’t matter. Not truly. It was, perhaps, my own insecurity and nerves that made me ask in the first place. Because Kiran was experienced in these things—in mating and sex—and the truth was that I wasn’t.
It was strange for a female my age, at least among the Dakkari, to be untried. A virgin. I’d almost had sex once. After Kiran had left and I’d still been so hurt and angry. I’d kissed a handful of males in the saruk after he’d gone—though thankfully not Ojinu—as if he’d know and it would make him jealous. Foolish.
And one male had gotten me out of my trews before I’d known it—but I had stopped him, suddenly panicked, suddenly so vokking sad and angry that Kiran had gone, that I’d burst into tears. The male had left me and I never kissed another male again.
Now, I looked back on that sad girl I’d been and all I wanted to do was hug her. Embrace her. Tell her that everything would be fine, that her purpose in life was different, greater than a single male.
It had been my mother who embraced me back then, however.
“You can ask me anything, mokkira,” Hinna said quietly, giving me a small smile in the mirror. Her gaze went to my necklace again. “What are the flowers called? I have never seen them.”
I touched the chain.
“Seffi,” I told her quietly. “They grow on okkara trees. In the ancient forests. In the warm season, they bloom across the branches and when the winds come, they float down like a waterfall of flowers. The ground gets covered in them.”
“They sound lovely,” Hinna breathed.
“They are,” I said softly. “The trees only grow in the south lands. Maybe you’ll get to see them while you are here.”
“Oh, I doubt that,” Hinna said quietly.
“Why?” I asked.
“The Vorakkar said the south lands have been unsafe,” she said quietly. “We usually never build walls this strong. When we were in the west, we didn’t build walls at all. He does not want us out in the wild lands.”
He hadn’t told them about the dark mist in the east?
I frowned.
“Do you know why?” she asked, her voice so soft that I almost didn’t hear her.
I didn’t want to lie to her. But I also knew that this was Kiran’s horde. I couldn’t interfere with his decisions and he’d obviously kept the red mist a secret for a reason.