thing.
Unless…
Nik.
He wasn’t serious last night. He’d been mocking me when he told me he’d take me as his queen, rubbing salt into an old wound because he could.
And now? He was just furthering that ache.
“You dare to give a Vorakkar an order?” he rasped quietly, angling his head down, close to mine. My breath hitched. His eyes were so warm, dancing with something I didn’t want to identify. “Only a Morakkari can do that. You are only confirming it, seffi.”
My eyes flashed up to his. I didn’t care that others would see me glaring at him. He deserved my ire.
“There’s nothing to confirm,” I hissed, suddenly more angry at myself than I was at him. Because I was letting him get under my skin again when I had promised myself that I wouldn’t let my reactions get the best of me. “I told you I wouldn’t have you and I meant it.”
His brow quirked.
All arrogance.
All Kiran.
Even he heard my nervous swallow.
“Your piki will guide you around the horde, to let you get your bearings,” Kiran said again, raising his voice, daring me to refute him. “And then she will show you the mokkira’s voliki. Your apprentice will be waiting for you there.”
A little flash of excitement battled with my irritation.
My own apprentice.
My own voliki.
My own horde.
My glare never lessened but I came to the decision to let it go. It would be Kiran’s humiliation if he let everyone believe I would be his Morakkari. Because I would be leaving. And I wouldn’t look back when I did.
I meant what I’d said.
I would never love him again.
That knowledge dampened a bit of my rage.
“Lysi?” Kiran rasped, his molten eyes darting back and forth between mine.
I took in a deep breath, setting my shoulders back.
“Lysi,” I replied, giving him a small smile that I hoped had a little bite to it. “You may leave, Vorakkar. I have work to do.”
His sudden smile disarmed me, made me doubt myself as my heart hammered in my chest. His smile always had a way of doing that to me. His smile made the whole world go dizzy though it made me feel rooted, made me feel home.
I hated that it still had that effect on me, after all these years.
He reached out to stroke my cheek, tucking stray hairs behind my ear. My flesh tingled where he touched me. I barely stopped myself from closing my eyes.
“I like when you give me orders, seffi.”
Between us, a thousand memories rose and those memories, most of them wonderful, threatened to choke me.
Then he turned...and he was gone.
Chapter Seventeen
“And this is the bikkus’ voliki,” the soft-spoken Dakkari female murmured, coming to a stop in front of another massive domed hide tent.
Above it, I could see black smoke rising into the sky, a venting hole allowing it to escape. The scent in the air around the voliki—one of fatty grilled meat—made my mouth water.
This voliki, unlike many of the others, had flaps on the side of the tent, like windows. They lowered, revealing thin netting that kept dust and debris out of the cooking space, while also letting a cool breeze inside—because I was certain it was as hot in there as it was in the weapons master’s voliki…and he had a forge.
“If there is not a feast or a celebration, the bikkus will deliver your meals around set times. Or if you get hungry before then, you can send me to get you a meal,” the female finished.
“You don’t do your own cooking here?” I asked, cocking my head to the side. “They cook everyone’s meals?”
“Lysi,” my piki said, frowning. “Of course.”
“In the saruk, we cooked almost all our own meals,” I explained.
Another thing I would have to get used to, considering I quite liked cooking. I thought it was like mixing medicines and tonics. Finding the right ingredients and experimenting with them until you produced something perfect.
She continued to frown, as if confused, and we moved on, making our way to the front of the horde. Earlier, she’d explained that they’d just settled in the south lands a week before and that they were still preparing for the frost. But to me, everything seemed like it worked and flowed seamlessly. Horde members had their tasks, did their duties, contributed to the horde…and somehow it worked.
As we walked, her words returned to me.
“You don’t have to get me anything, you know,” I said, feeling that sense of strange discomfort through my chest. Lowering my voice when we passed