I looked down at my feet and then I looked up, staring at her back as she walked away.
Kiran had confronted her. He had told her about us, I suddenly knew.
And this was her answer to it all. To turn her back.
I nodded to myself.
Then I lifted my chin. And I made for the soliki of the next darukkar on my rounds.
Then I would go home to my pattar and savor the last moments with him that I could.
That was what really mattered.
Chapter Fifty-Two
I paused when I spied a familiar figure lingering on the road just outside his soliki.
I had just come from the common baths, where I’d washed away the ungira stench that had stuck to me all morning and afternoon. Intending to find Maeva, I hadn’t expected to encounter her father first.
“Terun,” I said, frowning. “Does Maeva know you’re out of your bed again?”
A derisive huff left his nostrils and he turned to narrow his eyes on me. “Nik. Are you going to tell her, Vorakkar?”
I sighed. Then I couldn’t help it when my lips quirked up. I wasn’t used to being spoken to like this…but Maeva’s pattar knew that he would be able to get away with it.
He was dressed again with his heavy furs over his shoulders, though his back looked sunken in from the weight of them. His breathing was a little labored. He was still in pain—though probably not nearly as much as before—but he’d still taken the journey outside the soliki, risking his daughter’s wrath for fresh air.
They were more alike than they probably believed. Because Maeva hated being trapped inside as well.
“I cannot lie to her if she asks,” I told him. “But until you decide to return to your soliki, I will need to stay out here with you.”
Which, no doubt, would have him scurrying back sooner than he wanted to, if only to escape being in my presence for long.
With a soft curse—something I didn’t think I’d ever heard him utter—he rummaged around in his furs for something, his hand tightening on his cane. It was a quiet night in the saruk. I’d found that most were still in shock from the attack, that there was a morose and somber air that had settled, one that might not lift until after the frost.
Because the attack showed the saruk that even near Drukkar’s Sea, in the peaceful south lands, they were not immune to the outside world creeping in. I’d often felt that way about my father’s saruk, especially after I’d journeyed to Dothik. That this place was separate from Dakkar and all the turmoil our planet faced. A little haven next to the sea, when the rest of the planet experienced fear and greed and suffering.
Maeva’s pattar pulled something from his furs and uncapped it. It was a skin of brew, I realized, listening to him take a long swig of it.
Then, to my surprise, he held it out for me after a moment of hesitation. I met his gaze before I took it, feeling the burning, fiery liquid make a path down my throat. It was strong brew, some of the strongest I’d ever had.
I handed it back to him, feeling it warm my belly and keep the chill away.
“I told you that if you hurt her again, I would—”
“Gut me and toss me into the pyroki enclosure. I know, terun. I remember. Everything.”
He grunted, seemingly pleased that his threat had stayed with me all these years.
It was quiet between us and a wind rustled our hair briefly before it calmed.
“I love her,” I rasped. “I always have.”
He surprised me further by saying, “I know.”
I’d expected him to fight me on it.
“No one regrets what happened here almost ten years ago more than I do,” I told him, meeting his gaze. “I need you to know that. I need you to know that not a day went by where I didn’t regret it. Not a day went by where I didn’t miss her.”
“Pattar,” came a gasp and I turned from his grim expression to see Laru hurrying up the pathway, coming from the direction of the soliki she shared with her mate. “What are you doing out here?”
“Breathing,” he replied, still a little cantankerous, probably from my continued presence. “Is that all right with you?”
Laru’s eyes went wide and she huffed out a strong breath.
Then he sighed. “I’m sorry, rei kassiri. You know how he makes me.”
Laru’s gaze went to me, her brow raised, her tail flicking with anxiousness