how to process that.
Not right now.
I turn and glance at the two boys who are now sitting on my sofa, watching television. They’re beautiful kids. They are.
“What about Daniel?” I ask, turning back to Bohdi.
“Daniel signed away his rights, as far as Sunny knows, I’m his father. He doesn’t want anything to do with Daniel and the feeling is mutual. He isn’t in the picture, and now, he never will be.”
I rub my hand down my face and exhale. “This is a lot, Bohdi. Really it is.”
“You don’t want it?”
“I didn’t say that...”
“Fuck, I thought you’d be jumping at the chance to have a family and be with me.”
His statement kind of makes me angry, maybe it’s how he delivered it, but he is just assuming I’ll want to dive in headfirst. This is a lot to take in, and I need some time to process it. The assumption that I’d just be happy and everything would be great, makes me agitated. Their mother just left them and Bohdi and I haven’t even made love. Now he wants us to be a family, just like that?
“You’re not even giving me a chance to process this, Bohdi. You just came in here, hit me with it, and expect me to just go along with it. Can you give me a chance here?”
“A chance for what?” he growls, “you want to be with me or you don’t.”
“You’re overreacting, and I understand it. You just got hit with some pretty intense news and it’s a lot to take in, but don’t you think you need time to process before coming here and proposing these things?”
“I know what I want. It’s clear you fuckin’ don’t.”
That makes me angry.
“I don’t?” I snap, quietly. “I wanted you, Bohdi. I made that very clear. You held me at arm's length when Isla returned. How dare you act like it’s me now.”
His jaw ticks.
“Can you please leave,” I say softly, trying to keep it together. “I need time to think, and you’re making it hard.”
He shakes his head, barks at the boys to come, and when they run out the door, he disappears with them. I’m hurt, hurt because he’s acting like I should just give in and give him what he wants, but he’s not considering that maybe I need a little time to wrap my head around all of this. Not to mention I just went through a hellish ordeal, and I’m struggling right now.
My heart aches as I grab my phone and call Waverly.
She doesn’t answer, neither does Briella, so I kick my shoes off and go for a walk down to the beach. I stroll along, breathing in the sea air, and I think about Sunny and Taj. I think about the life they’re being left to live and I wonder how it’ll all turn out for them. I think about Bohdi and our relationship and my mind swims with confusion and mistrust.
I don’t know what to do.
It has been a crazy week, and so much has come forth.
Why is he not understanding that?
“There you are.”
I turn to see Carson jogging towards me, waving a hand. I give him a small smile as he stops in front of me, panting.
“I just went to your house,” he says, voice breathy. “I figured you might be here, it was unlocked.”
“I needed to clear my head.”
“You doin’ okay? How’s your leg?”
“It’s sore but fine.”
“What about you? You don’t look fine.”
I exhale, and then I tell him everything that just happened. He listens intently, with wide eyes, and when I’m done, he exhales. “Wow, that’s a fuckin’ lot after the few days you’ve had. I didn’t know Bohdi wanted to be with you like that, did you?”
“No, and that’s why it’s so confusing. When Isla came back, he told me he didn’t know what we were and I accepted that. He’s reacting badly right now, and I understand why, but he’s not seeing how I’m feeling.”
“Give him some time, Bohdi does this. When things get hard, he shuts down. He’s been like this since we were younger, and sometimes you just gotta let him be. It’s a lot to take in, and he’s coming to the one person he trusts because he knows you can help him, and he’s scared. Take that as a good thing, Bohdi doesn’t go to just anyone.”
I didn’t think of it like that, he’s right.
That makes a lot of sense.
“You’re right. I will go and talk to him, I just need to know