don’t deserve that and neither do you. I want you to tell them I love them, but I just can’t be their mother anymore. I wish I could, more than anything, but I can’t.
I have attached papers that I have had drawn up, signing away all my parental rights and making you the full time guardian for both. I have thought this through, and it’s the right choice. I don’t want you to think I can come back in ten years and try to pick up where I left off. I’m signing my rights away, for your peace of mind.
It’s the least I can do.
I know you will be a great father to them, you always were. I know eventually, they’ll forget about me and grow to love you and whoever you end up with.
I’m sorry. I know you’re going to hate me. I just hope one day you can understand.
To Sunny and Taj, I’m sorry.
I’m truly sorry.
Isla x
NOW – MERLEIGH
The knocking at my door has me stopping what I’m doing to see Bohdi standing at the screen. His eyes frantic. I rush over, well, as fast as I can move with my sore leg.
“What’s the matter? Is everything okay?”
“You know how you said you wanted to be a Mother?”
I narrow my eyes, confused, and just as I do I see Sunny and Taj walking up the stairs, hands full of shells, smiles on their handsome little faces. Still, I don’t understand what Bohdi is talking about. What does he mean be a mother? To the boys? I don’t understand.
“You’re not making any sense, Bohdi. What’s going on?”
He hands me a note, and with narrowed eyes, I take it and read. What I read has my eyes widening and my heart racing. This can’t be real. Isla wouldn’t just up and leave her children like that...would she? No way, it just doesn’t make any sense. Is she in trouble? What if she is and this is some sort of ploy to get Bohdi to believe she made this choice on her own?
It’s not so far-fetched, is it? I mean, Bohdi upped and left everything and had people believe he was dead. This wouldn’t be so far from that kind of crazy. I narrow my eyes and then Bohdi hands me another stack of papers. “Before you go over theories, have a look at these papers, signed by her and done up by a lawyer. I rang that lawyer, who told me Isla was very calm and insistent on everything, and that she was certainly clear of mind. Trust me, I’ve been over every option, but the truth is that she wanted this. That’s all there is to it.”
“But why?” I whisper, shaking my head in confusion. “It just doesn’t make any sense. Why would she want to give up her children?”
“Because she’s selfish, she’s always been selfish. She wants the same kind of freedom she thinks I had, but I’m telling you, one day she’ll regret it. When she does, she won’t be comin’ back into their lives. That much is for fuckin’ sure. You want to give up your kids now, then it remains that way.”
I swallow.
This is bad.
Those poor, poor boys.
They don’t deserve this. To meet a dad they’ve probably long forgotten, and get left with him while their mom disappears. It was hard enough the first time for them, it’ll be a whole lot harder now. Why would she be so selfish? Doesn’t she know they need her? They need her more than they need anyone else? She is their mother.
Plain and simple.
“What are you going to do?” I ask, my voice soft.
Bohdi is tense, so damned tense. “I’m keepin’ them. She doesn’t get a second chance, not after this. I’ll sign those papers and those boys will be mine. They need someone, though. They need...a mother. Someone to help them in ways I can’t. I don’t have the kind of warmth my sons need, Merleigh. I’m hopin’ you do.”
“You want me to be their fill-in-mother?” I ask, shocked.
“No, I want you to be their mother. I want you to be with me and for us to be a family.”
He does?
Oh god.
That’s a lot to take in.
I love him, he knows that and I know that, and those boys are beautiful but just a week ago, we weren’t in a good place and now he wants me to be their mother and basically his wife? That’s a big ask, and it’s daunting and overwhelming. I don’t know