him! The past two weeks had been a healing process the likes of which Lance had never known and he didn’t much relish in the idea of his wounds being freshly opened. A transfer was much simpler... and much more cowardly.
Lance was quick to shower and get changed. He needed to get down to the bank and make the transfer before it closed. If he was late, he’d have to text Kirk and tell him it would be so. And if that happened, it was just another failure that Kirk would chalk up next to Lance’s name.
So, he was quick about leaving. On the way out, he spotted Carlo again. When the muscular personal trainer saw him, he did a ‘call me’ expression with his hands, and then imitated the act of doing shots and grinding on the dance floor... at least that was what Lance thought he was doing.
It was strange, but Lance had zero desire to go out and even less of a desire to sleep with other men. Three months ago, that was all Lance’s life revolved around, and the idea of having his heart broken was laughable. The few times he had been rejected, he’d shrugged it off by sleeping with someone else. And then he’d usually ditch that person before there was any chance of an attachment. It had been a much simpler life... but also a much, much lonelier one.
Once upon a time, all Lance had cared about was physical attraction; a concept that was purely based on a man’s muscular composition and the shape of his face. But now... that didn’t concern Lance in the slightest. When Carlo had mentioned Raffa, Lance had completely forgotten who he was talking about. And now the idea of meeting up with the guy just for sex made him feel ill.
It was ironic really. In Lance’s mind, Kirk was the perfect man. Not only was he attractive physically, but his heart and mind were like nobody’s that Lance had ever met. It had taken his being with Kirk to realize there was more to a relationship than just pure physical attraction, and now that Lance knew this, he had fucked it up. Kirk was the perfect man, far too good for Lance, and Lance knew it.
And yes, there was maybe the smallest, tiniest chance that if Lance went to Kirk, apologized and begged for a second chance, that he might get one. There was always a chance. But at the end of the day, Lance was a coward. The idea of Kirk rejecting him was too much to handle... and so Lance didn’t bother with the risk.
“Oh, that’s good.” The bank teller congratulated Lance as he made the transfer into Kirk’s account. “Business must be doing well,” she said pleasantly.
“Huh?” Lance had been getting his text message ready; working out the perfect way to tell Kirk that the first transfer was done. He wanted it to sound grateful, without coming off like he was bragging.
“The ah...” the teller read off the screen. “The Macro Bar. It must be doing well. Yes?” She blinked and smiled as she waited for confirmation.
“Oh, right... yeah, I guess,” Lance shrugged.
“I’ll just be one tick,” she finished merrily. She then went back to typing, looking so darn pleased with herself. Lance was at a point in his life where he hated seeing happy people. As such, this teller was insufferable.
But Lance was glad for the silence. He went back to his phone, reading and re-reading the message. ‘Hey, Kirk. The first transfer is done.’ Lance frowned. Was that enough? Should he thank him? Apologize again? Ensure him that the next one would be on time too? Was it going to be like this every single time?
The funny thing was, Lance didn’t even care about the business anymore. Not really. As said, it was a constant reminder of what he had done to Kirk. Furthermore, it was just a way for him to be tied to the man for the next two years. Lance was in pain, and so long as he ran the Macro Bar, that pain would persist.
“Actually.” Lance shot his hand out, was about to grab the receptionist, when he stopped short. “Do you mind cancelling that transfer?” It was a split second decision. Lance hoped it was the right one.
“Oh... are you sure?” the teller asked. “All I have to do is—”
“No, it’s fine. Really.” Lance was up and on his feet. “I’ve just remembered that I need to