honored to be allowed the privilege of documenting that. Even if my parents don’t get it.
I fall asleep with the images in my head.
My dreams are vivid and when I wake, I feel like one big throbbing nerve ending. Maybe Izzie is right and I need to get some action before I self combust. But at least my pent up sexual frustration is good for something because by the time I get over to see Gabe again the next day, I have several pages of ideas jotted down in the little notebook I always carry around.
Sasha answers the door looking much more energetic than the last time I saw her.
“Oh my god, I’m so glad you’re here.” She moves back so I can come in. “He’s so cranky it’s unbelievable.”
This isn’t a surprise to me. Years of dealing with Gabe means I’ve seen him sick before. The man is a complete and total baby when he doesn’t feel well. When he had bronchitis one year, I was worried that I was going to do him more harm than the virus.
“He’s always been grumpy when he’s sick.”
Before I even have a chance to put my bag down, she grabs me by the hand and pulls me upstairs. I follow, trying not to trip since she isn’t slowing down to give me time to catch up. When we reach Gabe’s room, she shoves open the door and pulls me through behind her.
“I am going to take a walk. Maybe you can cheer him up. Nothing I’ve tried has worked.”
Before I can even respond, she walks back out pulling the door closed behind her.
I turn to look at Gabe. “What did you do to her?”
He grunts. “I’m ready to get out of this bed.”
“You look better.” And he does. It’s a relief actually to see him looking more like his old self.
“Better than one foot in the grave. I’m just balancing on the ledge of the grave now.” He moves over slightly so I can sit beside him.
“You’d better be nice to her. She’s the one preparing your food.”
He cracks a smile finally. “For some reason she loves me. So I don’t think she’ll poison me yet.”
The front door closes downstairs and then it’s quiet. I don’t hear anyone else moving around.
“What’s been going on with you?” He shifts slightly, turning so that he can recline against his pillows but look directly at me. I can tell he’s really uncomfortable and have to resist the urge to try to help him. So I rack my brain trying to think of something to talk about. Something that might distract him from how crappy he feels.
“So you know my last show sold out.”
Gabe smiles. “Of course it did. It was awesome.”
His unwavering support has gotten me through so many rough times in my life. It’s one of the only things that I’ve always known that I could count on. Every time I think about telling Zack how I feel, I imagine what things would be like if it didn’t work out. Then not only would I lose him but Gabe’s friendship, too.
“Thank you. That means a lot. It also means that I can pretty much shoot whatever I want for my next show. Mr. Hartwell is pretty sure that he can sell whatever I give him now. So I decided to focus on the male body for my next series.”
His eyes narrow. “What does that mean exactly?”
“It means that I’ll be focusing on men this time around. No couples. No women. Just the male form. One male form, specifically. I think it makes sense for the whole series to be about the same person.”
He shifts in the bed. “Have you already found someone?”
Suddenly, I’m not so sure I want to tell him. Sasha said that the way Zack was looking at me wasn’t very brotherly but Gabe is very much the big brother type. I’m actually more worried about telling him certain things than my real big brother.
“I think I’m going to hire someone. A model.”
His face goes hard immediately. “A stranger. You’re going to be alone taking naked pictures of a stranger? What if the guy isn't trustworthy?”
“Don’t be such a prude. We can always do a background check to make sure the guy isn't a criminal.”
“You know just as well as I do that background checks aren't worth shit. I would have passed one.”
I have to admit that he’s right on that score. As many things as Gabe has gotten into in the