them. People didn’t just turn to ice randomly. Honestly, I wasn’t sure which was worse; those ex-wives spontaneously turning to ice or Abner doing it on purpose. Either option was scary in its own way.
As the days blurred into each other, as I lost myself in my thoughts, I often found myself thinking of Ishan, if going with him would truly be so awful. There was a spark between us, I could not deny it. It felt as if he was my Summer god, my other half.
But then what about Abner? Despite what he did, a pang of longing poked at my heart when I thought about leaving with Ishan and never seeing Abner again. I owed the Winter god nothing, I knew; it was not my responsibility to lessen the sorrow he felt or the loneliness resting in his soul, but a part of me still felt connected to him.
I spent a lot of time sighing to myself, asking myself what I was doing. Just make a decision. I could not remain here, in limbo, forever. Though it felt as if my heart and mind were torn, I knew I could not stand at both their sides.
I had to choose one. I had to pick a god. It was a problem no other girl in the kingdom had, I was sure, so I suppose I could not complain. I didn’t think fairytales would ever be told of me in the future, but surely whatever came of this would hopefully give Abner some pause before blindly choosing another girl to be his next bride in twenty-five years.
Hmm. The thought of Abner picking another girl was almost too much. If it meant he would never pick another again, I would choose him, if only to save the girls after me.
Alas, that was not how this worked, and that was why I was so torn. My body called out to Ishan and Abner in different ways. I had no idea what would come of this, what I would do when my month’s time was up. Being so indecisive was unlike me, but I supposed that’s what being around the gods did to you; they made you change, made you feel and think things you never imagined you would.
They were gods. We worshipped them, sure, but being in their presence, actually seeing them, hearing them, touching them—it was unlike anything I’d ever done before, and if I was honest with myself, I did not want to stop.
Maybe this whole thing was so hard for me because I wanted the one option I did not have. I wanted to keep them both, to make both Abner and Ishan happy. With Ishan’s favor, with his warm blessing, I doubted I would ever turn to ice, and I could help Abner forget his sorrows. I could let myself be swallowed up by Ishan any time the cold became too much, perhaps divide my time between them, somehow.
That thought was good for a laugh… and to occupy my mind with as I lay in bed at night, tossing and turning, unable to get a good night’s sleep.
One night, seven days after my last talk with Ishan, seven days after the day I was supposed to wed Abner, I woke from a rather unusual dream. And by unusual, I meant both Abner and Ishan had been in it… doing some rather inappropriate things to me. Together. It was quite stimulating and I woke with a heart practically beating out of my chest.
I sat up, gathering the blankets around me, feeling my thighs clenching beneath the sheets of their own accord. My skin was sweaty and hot, in spite of the cool air in my room. I hadn’t attempted to start a fire in the fireplace, not wanting to disturb anything here.
A good thing too, for that dream had made me feel like exploding with heat.
I could not say why the thought of both Abner and Ishan having me was such a tempting one, but it was. Frankly, I could not imagine anything better. It would be the best of both worlds, wouldn’t it? I highly doubted I could ever make both gods happy, but it was a thought that filled my stomach with butterflies and made my core heat up all on its own.
Unable to get back to sleep, I rolled out of bed, my bare feet hitting the floor. The cold did not bother me, even though I wore only a thin slip over my body, nothing