did you know where I was?’
‘You leave a trail,’ he says, and reaches across, unfurling one of the tassels of my scarf. ‘I got you a birthday present. I mean, I’m sorry it’s late, but—’ he says, pulling a book out of his back pocket. He hands it to me. It’s wrapped up in brown paper and string. I tug at it and the wrapping comes away.
‘Look inside,’ he says.
It’s a signed copy of One Day. I feel my cheeks going all pink with happiness. ‘That’s so lovely.’
‘Is it okay? I thought …’ He looks a bit shy.
I look up at the sky. ‘It’s snowing,’ I say, for no reason at all. As if he hasn’t noticed. As if it actually matters. My brain isn’t working properly.
He nods. ‘The thing is, I spoke to Rob,’ he starts to say.
He’s gazing at me intently. I put a hand to my face.
‘Have I got chocolate on my nose, or something?’ I ask.
He shakes his head. ‘You broke up with James.’
I nod. Something inside me gives a gigantic whoosh, as if I’m a firework display and someone’s lit the first match. It’s freezing cold, but I drop my gloves on the footpath beside the canal and take a step towards him. My heart is going to explode in a moment and I think if I don’t just do something about it right now I don’t know what’ll happen—
‘What about – I mean …’ I open my mouth and try and find a way to say what I want to, but there doesn’t seem to be a way to ask.
‘Emma?’ He reads my mind. I nod.
‘Friends.’
I raise my eyebrows slightly.
‘It wasn’t ever really a thing. I mean we’re friends. That’s all. I mean the thing is, it couldn’t be, because …’ He stops and puts the heels of his hands to his forehead, closing his eyes, as if he’s trying to concentrate. ‘Because the thing is—’
‘What is the thing, Alex?’ My heart is beating so loudly in my ears that the outside world seems to have just disappeared. I watch as he bends down and picks up my gloves, holding them in one hand.
He’s closer to me now, so close that I think it’s possible that he can hear the sound of my heart banging in my chest.
‘The thing is—’ He takes a breath and looks at me with those huge brown eyes. ‘I love you, Jess.’
My breath catches in my throat. A couple walk past and I see them looking at each other and one says ‘aww’ to the other. There’s a snowflake on Alex’s eyebrow and I reach forward to brush it off and he catches my hand in his and there’s a moment where I feel like all the snowflakes in the world have paused, just for a second, and I look into Alex’s face – and I see his beard and his melty brown eyes and the way one eyebrow sticks up untidily and his hair is scattered with snow and—
‘That’s funny.’ And I don’t know why but I feel like my whole face is one huge beam of happiness. ‘Because I love you, too.’
And I stand on tiptoe and for a second I brush a kiss on the side of his mouth and I breathe in the familiar scent of him and I think my legs might give way. And then he drops my gloves and I drop my bag and he pulls me close so I can feel that underneath his jumper his heart is thumping even harder than mine, and we kiss. And the snow starts falling again, and I don’t even notice. I reach my hands inside the warmth of his jumper and feel the skin of his back under his shirt and it’s burning hot.
‘Your hands are bloody freezing,’ he says, pulling back and laughing.
‘I think maybe we should go home,’ I say. And I take his hand, and we walk back through the darkness, past the cinnamon-scented coffee stall, and through the shortcut past the Dog and Ferret, where they’re playing ‘Last Christmas’ on the speakers and we hear a blast of it when someone pushes the door open. And he looks at me and swings my hand for a second, and smiles.
EPILOGUE
Jess
One Year Later
‘You sure you want to give up the room?’ Becky says, still dressed in her work clothes, which look incongruous because she’s got a Santa hat balanced on the top of her hair. The kitchen’s covered in paper chains, which