head and coming down off the stool, picking up some more frozen burgers and going back to the freezer. I wondered if she might ever get frostbite; I was sure I could see little crystals of ice glinting on her faint moustache.
‘My, that’s a big load you’ve brought for us today. I’m surprised you didn’t fall over on the way here.’
‘You won’t catch me falling over, no.’ Mrs Clamp shook her head once more, went to the sink, reached up and over while on her tip-toes, turned on the hot water, rinsed her hands, wiped them on her blue-check, brinylon work-coat and took some cheese from the bike.
‘Can I make you a cup of something, Mrs Clamp?’
‘Not for me,’ Mrs Clamp said, shaking her head inside the fridge, slightly below the height of the ice-making compartment.
‘Oh, well, I won’t, then.’ I watched her wash her hands one more time. While she started sorting out the lettuce from the spinach I took my leave and went up to my room.
We ate our usual Saturday lunch: fish, with potatoes from the garden. Mrs Clamp was at the other end of the table from my father instead of me, as is traditional. I sat halfway down the table with my back to the sink, arranging fish bones in meaningful patterns on the plate while Father and Mrs Clamp exchanged very formal, almost ritualised pleasantries. I made a tiny human skeleton with the bones of the dead fish and distributed a little ketchup about it to make it more realistic.
‘More tea, Mr Cauldhame?’ Mrs Clamp said.
‘No, thank you, Mrs Clamp,’ my father replied.
‘Francis?’ Mrs Clamp asked me.
‘No, thank you,’ I said. A pea would do for a rather green skull for the skeleton. I placed it there. Father and Mrs Clamp droned on about this and that.
‘I hear the constable was down the other day, if you don’t mind me saying so,’ Mrs Clamp said, and coughed politely.
‘Indeed,’ my father said, and shovelled so much food into his mouth he wouldn’t be able to speak for another minute or so. Mrs Clamp nodded at her much-salted fish and sipped her tea. I hummed, and my father glared at me over jaws like heaving wrestlers.
Nothing more was said on the subject.
Saturday night at the Cauldhame Arms and there I stood as usual at the back of the packed, smoke-filled room at the rear of the hotel, a plastic pint glass in my hand full of lager, my legs braced slightly on the floor in front of me, my back against a wallpapered pillar, and Jamie the dwarf sitting on my shoulders, resting his pint of Heavy on my head now and again and engaging me in conversation.
‘What you been doin’, then, Frankie?’
‘Not a lot. I killed a few rabbits the other day and I keep getting weird phone calls from Eric, but that’s about all. What about you?’
‘Nothin’ much. How come Eric’s calling you?’
‘Didn’t you know?’ I said, looking up at him. He leaned over and looked down at me. Faces look funny upside down. ‘Oh, he’s escaped.’
‘Escaped?’
‘Sh. If people don’t know, there’s no need to tell them. Yeah, he got out. He’s called the house a couple of times and he says he’s coming this way. Diggs came and told us the day he broke out.’
‘Christ. Are they looking for him?’
‘So Angus says. Hasn’t there been anything on the news? I thought you might have heard something.’
‘Nup. Jeez. Do you think they’ll tell people in the town if they don’t catch him?’
‘Don’t know.’ I would have shrugged.
‘What if he’s still into setting dogs on fire? Shit. And those worms he used to try to get kids to eat. The locals’ll go crazy.’ I could feel him shaking his head.
‘I think they’re keeping it quiet. Probably they think they can catch him.’
‘Do you think they’ll catch him?’
‘Ho. I couldn’t say. He might be crazy, but he’s clever. He wouldn’t have got out in the first place if he hadn’t been, and when he calls up he sounds sharp. Sharp but bonkers.’
‘You don’t seem all that worried.’
‘I hope he makes it. I’d like to see him again. And I’d like to see him get all the way back here because . . . just because.’ I took a drink.
‘Shit. I hope he doesn’t cause any aggro.’
‘He might. That’s all I’m worried about. He sounds like he might still not like dogs an awful lot. I think the kids are safe, though, all the same.’
‘How’s he travelling?