am. What he is. Where I came from.
“Stop,” I mumble as his hand finds my inner thigh and snakes upward. He doesn’t stop. He drops his lips to my jaw and his hand keeps moving. I push him with all of my strength.
“Stop!” I yell at him in French.
Instantly he freezes, yet remains suspended over me. And where I am expecting to see an enraged vampire that will soon take what he wants despite my protests, instead, I am met with a face looking to have awakened from a nightmare—wide-eyed and cynical. At first, he sits back motionless, unblinking. Then he stands up, simply lingering and turned away from me, all the while a fierce and loud silence fills the interior of the chariot.
“Lord Zein?” I say, cautiously.
Peripherally, he acknowledges me, but his face is still stricken by surprise. I swallow hard, trying to process everything that happened, and a heavy nausea settles in my gut as a result.
Despite the plethora of emotions crashing in and around my skull, there is one that stands out above the rest. Shame. My hands mindlessly trace the spots that he caressed. What happened to the Wavorly from months ago? From a year ago? The woman that would never stand to have a vampire breathe on her, let alone…
I grip the tangled Laisse chain at my chest, simultaneously lifting the straps of my dress back over my shoulders.
Where is my drive for freedom? It’s been months since I’ve actively surveyed the castle for spots of faulty security, for a way out. Why am I not more troubled by this?
Zein turns back to me, seemingly returning to normal.
“Did I hurt you?” he asks.
I blink a couple of times with confusion. “No, not at all.”
Was he just as out of it as I was?
He nods, still standing at a distance. “It was not my intention to...”
He sounds so unusual. So uncertain.
I shake my head. “It’s my fault, too.”
He doesn’t respond, and the air grows heavy with tension. I rely on my fidgeting fingers to distract myself until he sits next to me again. Aside from the rustling trees and howls of wind outside, not a sound interrupts our little world.
I can’t do silence right now. I need distraction.
“Is it okay if we talk?” I ask him quietly.
His eyes shift down to my face, but I don’t meet them. Instead, I focus on my lap.
“Go ahead,” he says.
“I used to feel the same way about humans as I do about vampires. I would silently loathe them because none of them cared or understood. All except Savvy and Castrel, that is,” I confess, my voice shaking as I open up. “But over the last couple of months, Glera, Emi, Katarii, and even some of the vampires… I have learned a lot about them and why they think and feel the way they do.”
I find the courage to meet Zein’s eyes as I say, “I want to know your feelings and thoughts on things. Listen to your views rather than guess at them so that maybe I can learn how to get over this fear and anger that keeps me from... moving forward.”
“What could you be angry and afraid of at this point?” He leans forward to rest on his elbows.
And before I can catch myself I snap back, “The fact that I’m still your slave even though you do and say things like… like that.” I wave my hand aimlessly, referencing the heated moments before.
His eyes are penetrating but I swear if I don’t see surprise cross them, as if he never looked at it that way.
“The only place for a human in Cain is servitude,” he responds solemnly. “I cannot change anything of what you are on the surface. We must always be master and servant when eyes are watching.”
My lips fall to a frown at the reminder. I’m no more than an object for use to the vampire world. What will we be then, when no one is watching? Equals? Yeah, right.
“In my domain, you have more freedom… and you will experience that for the rest of your life,” he says. “I would change things elsewhere if I could. Maybe one day, I can.”
The rest of my life?
There’s something entrapping in that statement, but also… comforting.
I can’t stop my heart from fluttering for an instant, but eventually I subjugate it.
“You won’t think that when I get older,” I say, “when you have to send me to Saya.”
“You will never set foot there.”
His response surprises me, and