don’t like parties.”
I was confused. One minute Jill was urging me on and the next she was treating me like I was slow.
“What do you think Mason will say about this place?”
My heart clenched at the mention of his name. “He hasn’t answered my calls in two days. I don’t care what he thinks.”
“Oh, that is a lie of epic proportions and you know it.” She laughed and walked toward the front door. “I’m out. I’ve got shit to do. Good luck with the new crib.”
By the time the sun went down that same night I was the proud owner of my very first house. I drove home feeling unsure about the whole thing. There was a sense of dread about what I’d done but there was no turning back. I knew things were going to change and that started with Lynn. She was sitting in her car waiting for me when I pulled up to my apartment complex. I tried to act nonchalant as I exited my car and walked toward the stairs.
“Fallyn.” She didn’t yell.
“I didn’t know you were coming by tonight,” I said trying to play off the fact that I was higher than a damned kite.
“Fallyn, stop,” she ordered and grabbed me by the elbow.
I shook her off and spun to look her in the face. “What do you want, Lynn? If you came here to give me another lecture than you can save your breath and just leave.”
“Look at yourself!” Her eyes were wet with unshed tears and I felt like a dick. “I don’t know what you’re on but I know you’re not sober. Mason told me about the pills.”
“Wait, what? You talked to Mason?” She’d told him. That would be why he wasn’t answering my calls.
“What did you expect me to do, huh? I can’t watch you kill yourself and I can’t watch Mason tiptoe around you like it isn’t happening.” She was in a full blown cry by that point.
“Get off of me!” I withdrew from her touch and ran up the stairs the best I could.
“You’re going to kill someone driving around like that. You’re going to kill yourself! I can’t let that happen, Fallyn. So many people love you.” She wasn’t following me up the stairs. Instead she stood at the bottom and yelled up at me.
“I’ve got this under control. I can stop whenever I want. I stopped for Mason before, he knows that.” I could stop whenever I wanted and I believed that to be the truth.
Lynn wiped her face and backed off some. “I’ll be back in the morning. Don’t leave this house until I get here.”
I didn’t know if I would listen to her or not. It was possible that I would forget the whole thing happened, which was just fine with me.
The sun rose the next day just like all the days before, but somehow it was different. There was still no word from Mason or Lynn, but there was a text message from Jill. She wanted to have a party and who was I to stop a good party? We would have it at my new house.
***
I watched the sun set off the coast from my front yard that night. I felt peaceful for the first time in quite a while and the easiness of my mood should have triggered something in my brain, but I was far too gone. The last rays of the sun crossed my bear arms and I shivered as the night crept in, whether I was ready for it or not.
The sound of a full blown party pounded behind me. I was hesitant to let the sun go completely. It was as if I was afraid of not seeing it again. I’d left Lynn a note at my place with my new address and invited her to come over. I knew that I’d been way too hard on her and I wanted to make things right. I would make things right.
“Fallyn! You’re missing your own party.” Jill called to me from the stone steps leading up to my front door. “Come on.” She waved me in frantically.
I sighed and gave in. The house was full of people I didn’t know and drugs I’d never seen before. It was a buffet of things that could get me arrested, but I wasn’t concerned. I was relaxed and had been for most of the day. Mason had tried to call me from Dave’s phone earlier, which made the knot in my stomach