driver’s seat of my car with his messy hair and faded t-shirt.
***
There were those moments when Mason scared me a little. He was a perfectionist and did everything to its fullest, on his terms of course. I rarely saw the side of him that worried me which was just a-OK with me. It was raining and it just never rained in LA. He’d been working on an independent movie for a few weeks and it was almost as if the character he was portraying had started to eat away at him a bit. He showed up at my place, far too intoxicated to walk straight.
He was sitting on the top step with his hands threaded through his hair when I opened the door. I realized we wouldn’t have a good night when I sat down next to him.
“I just want to sit here.” He didn’t bother to look at me.
“Then why were you just banging on my door like a maniac?”
“I’ll come in eventually. You can go in.”
I wanted to punch him in his face when he acted like an asshole. “Mason, you are just obliterated. Why would you get so wasted when you know you have to work tomorrow?” I leaned down to try and see his face.
He turned suddenly and scared the shit out of me. His eyes were bloodshot and the look on his face was not pleasant. “Get off my fucking back, Fallyn! I just said I would be in soon.”
His reaction didn’t shock me really. I’d seen him in that state once before. “Fine asshole. Sit out here by yourself.” I stood and walked back into my apartment. He wouldn’t last long outside, alone. He didn’t like to be alone when he drank that much.
Mason was not an alcoholic and he didn’t drink all the time but sometimes, his mind got to him and he thought too much. The other guys weren’t much help because they all drank as a group and no one had the balls besides Dave to tell Mason he’d had enough. Then again, it didn’t matter. Mason didn’t listen to anyone.
“I did something,” he said, finally coming inside. “I don’t know why.”
My heart skipped a beat. “What are you talking about? Come on, I made you some coffee.” I took his hand and helped him to the kitchen table.
“I kissed another woman.”
I froze, one hand on the coffee pot, one hand gripping the counter for dear life. My chest started to rise and fall quickly as my breathing sped up. The chair scraped the floor and I heard the uneven thuds of his boots as he made his way to me. His hands gripped either hip too tightly. The smell of whiskey and whatever else he’d drank followed him.
“Don’t touch me,” I warned him softly.
“I’m sorry baby…so sorry. It just happened.”
The only thing I could do was cry. So many things crossed my mind, like hitting him, kicking him or throwing him out but I couldn’t do any of them. My head fell forward as I sobbed. I’d put so much hope and trust in the fact that Mason loved me completely. How could that be true if he’d kissed some other girl?
“Baby,” he pressed his forehead against the back of my neck, “I love you. Please say something.”
The terror and raw emotion in his voice killed me. He regretted it, I could tell. Still, it didn’t take away the hole he’d just punched in my chest. “Get out, Mason.”
“Please don’t,” he begged.
I found the courage to turn and face him. His eyes were full of regret and tears. “Get out.” I moved from his grip and ran to the bedroom locking myself in.
He did leave sometime after I’d left him in the kitchen. The front door had slammed, shaking the picture on the wall he’d bought for me. If I had ever understood the metaphor of the bleeding girl it was at that moment. I was her, curled on my bedroom floor, crying.
Chapter 14
My world had imploded in a matter of minutes and I had no idea why. I had lain on the carpet for longer than I cared to admit, although the imprint of the individual strands totally gave me away. There was a sharp pain in my chest. I managed to pry myself off the polyester and climb into the shower, but I cried just the same in the bathroom. The change of scenery didn’t help me at all. I had a sick feeling in my stomach from