the opposite. I wanted to know this part of him, the good and the bad. It was now or never. It was figuring it out or facing torment for the rest of my life.
Come August, I would return to Jersey with either closure or clarity.
Wordlessly, he leaned against the massive granite-topped island, watching me taking it all in.
“I’m pretty impressed.” This place made me feel as if I lived in squalor compared to him… which of course I didn’t.
“It’s just a condo,” he said, seeming embarrassed by it all. “It’s easy to have luxury when you’re left a fortune.”
I knew his dad had died when he was just a child, leaving his mother and Ricky with more than enough money to live comfortably for the rest of their lives. But what he, Marco, and my sister had accomplished with their business in just two years needed to be commended. “You should be proud of all you achieved despite that.”
“It’s also easy when you have amazing partners.”
“Marco told me the new executives are doing a fantastic job. That must be a huge relief. Takes the pressure off of you.”
“I won’t know what to do with myself,” he admitted with a shrug.
This diffident side of Ricky was one I’d never witnessed before, and I wasn’t sure if it was my presence in his home that had him on edge or what we needed to discuss. In fact, if either of us had reason to freak out, it should’ve been me.
Instead, this eerie calm came over me once I voiced out loud what I wanted. Never having admitted any of what I had to Ricky finally lifted a weight that had lain heavily on my chest for months.
Knowing now how my kissing him out of the blue had hit a nerve, I needed to let down my guard, and hopefully he would do the same. The reason I was there may have been my doing, but that didn’t make me any less nervous. I needed to draw from the arrogant Ricky I had accused of being a prick on live radio. Because that version of him I knew how to handle. This brooding-in-silence side of him created a different kind of tension between us that now bordered on being comical.
“You don’t host often, do you?” I asked, hoping to knock the chip off his shoulder. “How about a drink?”
Smugness hit when his lips twitched. “What would you like?”
“Surprise me.”
He slowly turned away and disappeared behind the door of his massive fridge. When he emerged with two ice-cold Modelos, it was my turn to suppress a smile at knowing that he’d again chosen my favorite beer.
“Here you go.” With a wave of his hand, he asked, “Balcony?”
“Sure.”
I followed him out and toward the two outdoor club chairs facing the beach. The balcony stretched across his entire apartment, and from where we now stood, I could see into his bedroom. Grays found in his bedding and black furniture all popped against the stark white walls. But what caught my eye, hanging above his bed, was a massive charcoal artist’s rendering of a naked man lying on his side.
“It’s not a self-portrait,” he said, catching me snooping. “Sit.”
Taking one of the chairs, I gazed through the glass railing that surrounded the entire space and gave an unfettered view. Sounds of the waves crashing in the moonlit night soothed my nerves. It was hot out, but not unbearable thanks to the breeze coming off the ocean.
“So this is your show, Cooper,” he said after a few long minutes of silence. “Why don’t you explain to me what it is that you see happening between us.”
Cutting right to the chase, I see.
“Beyond spending time with you, I have no idea.” He seemed affronted by my response. “What? I’m being honest.”
“Okay, I will be too. Do you know what I decided to do after hearing you call me a prick last night?”
I wanted to explain it wasn’t an insult. For whatever reason, that cocky arrogance that bordered on being an asshole turned me on. Not wanting to go there, I asked, “Punch my face?”
“Besides that.”
“Then no.”
“I planned on giving my fuck buddy Christian a call because I haven’t been laid in way too long, and an angry fuck would be just what the doctor ordered.”
The first visual packed a lustful right hook to my cock at picturing Ricky fucking some dude named Christian, but that was quickly followed by a twinge of jealousy that stung deep in my gut.