lifted to his messy hairline, before his eyes narrowed on mine. “Then why did you?”
Hell of a question. Did I pull a Hayden and deflect? Or show him how honesty worked? “To start fresh.”
“How do we do that?”
I tucked up my knees and wrapped my arms around them. It wasn’t like I had some grand plan. I just knew regardless of the mistakes he’d made, he needed someone in his life as much as I did. And since I had no one but my aunt, I needed him, too. “I’m Alex.”
His eyes studied me tucked into the corner of his sofa.
Okay, so maybe had I thought it out, I could’ve been more creative. But I wasn’t finished yet. “I live with my aunt, who I barely know, because as you know, my parents died. Come to find out, my dad cheated on my aunt with my mom and nine months later I showed up. Katherine must love having me around.”
Hayden winced from the other end of the couch.
“I have no friends except Sophia because my old friends abandoned me and I can’t trust anyone at my new school…But some days I’m dealing better than I thought I would. And I think that has something to do with this guy I met when I moved here. This frustrating and kind and infuriating and thoughtful guy.”
He stared at me with terror in his eyes. He should’ve been terrified.
I lifted my chin. “Your turn.”
His eyes flashed away, avoiding my gaze at all costs. He stared out the window from his seat. It had been extra windy lately, blowing down a number of limbs. Was he watching the shifting trees? Or was he just afraid to look back?
I almost felt sorry for putting him on the spot, but he was a big boy. If he felt uncomfortable, he’d just change the subject.
After what felt like an eternity, Hayden cleared his throat, breaking the awkward silence. “You once asked me why I live alone.” His eyes moved from the window to me. “I live alone because my parents died when I was ten.”
My heart slammed into my rib cage. I was scared to react. Scared to move. I didn’t want to do anything that would cause him to clam up.
His eyes moved back to the window. “My father used to beat me and my mom.”
I gulped down the lump in my throat, aching to be near him. To comfort him.
“I was so small back then. So weak. I couldn’t protect us. I wanted to. Man, did I want to…My mom finally had enough. She packed us up. We were gonna run away while he was at work. She was so happy. I’d never seen her so carefree, tossing her things into a suitcase humming along to her favorite songs.”
My heart broke knowing they never got their happy ending.
Hayden’s eyes abandoned the window, lifting to the ceiling. “He came home early. It was like he knew. Because he never came home early. He did his normal throwing her across the room and beating me thing.” Hayden rubbed the scar on the bridge of his nose.
“Then, it was like watching an alternate reality. He pulled out his gun. His fucking gun. And aimed it at me. My mom jumped in front of me. That’s when he fired across the room and shot her. Three times. What kind of animal does that?”
Tears fell from my eyes hearing Hayden revisit the horror of that day.
“Not a day goes by when I don’t wonder if I could’ve done something to stop him.”
“Hayden.”
He shook off my sympathy. “After he’d done it. He looked at me with the gun pointed to his own head and told me it was all my fault. Then he fired.”
My heart almost jumped out of my chest, knowing what he’d witnessed. Knowing the depth of those cruel words.
I wanted to go to him. To wrap him in my arms until he knew everything would be all right. But he needed to continue. He needed it out of his head. He needed to be free of the demons.
“I’ve gotten a little better with people touching me, but obviously he’s the reason I get all awkward and flinch when it happens.” He finally glanced to me. His eyes so vulnerable. “I don’t do it anymore when you touch me.”
I smiled through the tears, loving that he didn’t.
“As you’ve probably noticed, I don’t have many friends, at least ones I can rely on.” He swallowed. “But there’s this girl. This