his sudden distance. “Should I go?”
He shrugged, then dropped down on the foot of his bed with his back facing me and his head hung low.
Nothing I’d overheard—except maybe his heartlessness when discussing the girl he brought home—explained his indifference. This Hayden was the one I couldn’t understand. The one I struggled to keep up with. The one who changed moods like girls changed outfits before a date.
Did I even want to invest time in someone whose personality switched at the drop of a dime? Or was having him in my life, in whatever capacity I could get, enough?
I dropped the blanket and crawled down to the foot of the bed. I sat beside him the way we’d sat on the picnic table. Both silent. Both in our own heads. Both soothed by the other’s presence.
“I need to stay away from you,” he mumbled into his chest.
Unsure if he was serious or not, I turned toward him. “You do know you’re quoting a super famous novel-turned-movie, don’t you?”
“I’m serious, Alex. It’s not a good idea.”
I stared at his bowed head, trying to make sense of the situation. Moments before hadn’t he been ready to kiss me?
“There’s so much you don’t know about me. Things I do that I’m not proud of. Things I’ve done. Things I don’t tell anyone.”
“I’m not following.”
A sardonic laugh left him as his eyes finally slid to mine. “Exactly. There are things I can’t talk about. Blanks I can’t fill in.”
“Okay. Then I won’t ask.”
He scoffed. “You don’t get it. There are more things I can’t tell you, than I can.”
“Can or will?”
His jaw clenched. “Both.”
I nodded, thinking back to the cemetery. Thinking back to my aunt’s warning. Thinking back to his own warning only a few minutes before. I knew Hayden had secrets. Secrets I’d probably never know if I waited for him to tell me.
Could I control my curiosity for a chance to get to know him better? Could I resist the urge to follow him when he didn’t tell me where he was going? Was he even worth all the trouble?
I huffed out a long breath. “Fair enough.”
His brows arched.
I leveled my eyes with his. “Since I can’t seem to stay away from you, I’d say we’re just getting started.”
His shoulders sagged in defeat. The complete opposite of the relief and happiness I’d hoped for.
I reached over and placed my hand on his solid thigh, attempting to comfort him from whatever displeased him. Sure, it could’ve been me, but I wouldn’t allow myself to believe that. “What is it?”
He stared down at my hand on his skin, like the first time we met. But now I knew him—as much as he’d let anyone know him. And he obviously kept too much locked inside. It wasn’t healthy. I should know. He needed someone to talk to. Someone to confide in. Someone who would listen and not try to solve his problems. I could be that someone. If only he’d let me.
“I need you to stay away from me when Remy’s around.”
I almost didn’t need to ask. “Mr. Piercings and Tattoos?”
Hayden nodded.
“Is that who was here?” My thumb moved back and forth over his bare leg, the fair wisps of dark hair softer than expected.
He nodded again.
“Can you tell me why?”
My question was met with the swift shake of his head.
“So, we can hang out, just as long as Remy doesn’t know?”
He twisted his lips and nodded.
“He goes to our school.”
Hayden shook his head. “He just hangs out there.” His eyes flashed around his room, at the bare walls and empty furniture. “This is all I can offer. This apartment, this building, bars and restaurants in other towns. Anywhere Remy won’t find out.”
I withdrew my hand from his leg and crossed my arms, contemplating his offer for me to be his dirty little secret. “Why does he care who you spend time with?”
“I don’t know if he cares, so much as he controls what I do when I work with him.”
“You don’t strike me as the type to let anyone control you.”
He made a low, choked sound. “If anything stands in the way of work, Remy won’t tolerate it. And when that’s you…” His eyes fixed on mine, almost softening. “I’m willing to try this. But it’s all I’ve got to offer.”
My belly rippled with a series of Olympic style backflips. He was willing to try this. Whatever this was I really wasn’t clear on. But he wanted something with me. And I really needed