making him wait longer each time before giving him a dose of oxygen. Chad’s eyes got more and more lost, the shivers were near constant, and the wetness between them convinced Romeo Chad had already come, at least once.
He was super focused, super attentive, and lost himself in Chad. He could taste his breath as a sweetness when he panted for air. He could smell his arousal, the sweat in his hair. Hear the rasps, convinced Chad was in fact saying his name when Romeo allowed him to breathe.
He was in tune with Chad, making sure he didn’t go too far, didn’t lose control. He tested Chad enough that they were both benefiting from his hand wrapped around Chad’s throat.
The danger element heightening everything, Chad offering himself up like a sacrifice, knowing Romeo could kill him. Then there was Romeo, clinging on, knowing if he went too far, he’d break the promise he’d made his mother, rob himself of the one emotion he’d been desperate to feel, the only one that made him feel slightly human.
Their pleasure was suspended on a tightrope, a wrong move would end in tragedy, but the risk took them both higher, to impossible heights that made it worth it. Romeo gasped Chad’s name, and Chad wheezed his while inhaling.
When he felt he was close, ready to succumb, Romeo grabbed Chad’s throat harder for a few seconds, before releasing him all together. The shot of sudden oxygen pushed Chad over the edge. Romeo dropped his chest down on Chad’s catching the come that gushed out. Chad tensed, squeezing Romeo until he couldn’t breathe, until he was the one rasping with awed eyes while his release painted Chad’s insides. He came longer and harder than he ever had before, feeling every twitch, pulse, and squeeze of Chad around him.
Romeo pressed his forehead to Chad’s. “I could kill you one day.”
“I know.”
“But I’ll do everything in my power not to.”
Chad gave him a small smile. “I know that, too.”
Epilogue
Six months later
“You need to relax.”
“Like it’s that easy.”
Chad glared at Romeo. It was supposed to be menacing, but all Romeo saw were his panicked eyes, and the puffiness beneath. He’d never experienced nervousness, and it had been a sight to see Chad slowly unravel as the days went by, but it passed being interesting, when something tugged in Romeo chest. He wanted to make Chad feel better, soothe his fears.
“Take a deep breath.”
“If I take anymore deep breaths I’ll pass out.”
Romeo pushed off from the wall, strode over to Chad, and took over from him arranging his tie. Chad had done it up several times, but kept huffing, and redoing it, not happy even though it couldn’t have been more perfect.
“You’ll be fine.”
“I’m going for my psych test. I’ve got to convince three people, one of them my new boss, I’m not crazy.”
“You’re not.”
“I’m harboring a serial killer. One that most people think is dead. That’s not normal, not right…”
Romeo tugged Chad’s tie as he stared into his tired eyes. “Fuck normal, fuck right.”
“I want to catch killers, lock them up, but I’m living with one. I’m in love with one. That’s got to be the definition of insane.”
Romeo fixed Chad’s tie into position, but as soon as he let go, Chad went to redo it. Romeo gripped onto his hands, stopping him. He pulsed his fingers around Chad’s, and after a few deep breaths, he pulsed his back.
“No one in this world is a hundred percent sane.”
“They’ll see straight through me—”
“To the wall behind?”
“It’s not funny. This is important. I need this job. I need to catch killers to make up for…”
“For what?”
Chad looked up at him. “This. Me and you. You killed people. Innocent people.”
“Not all of them were.”
Chad sighed tiredly. “Four were innocent. Marc…”
“Crossed a line, and I had to correct it.”
“I’ve fallen for you, want a life with you, but what you did is not something I can just ignore, or forget about. I wish I could.”
“I know.”
Romeo saw the confliction in Chad, sometimes he’d give him odd looks, distanced himself, but he always came back, pressing tightly to Romeo. It was fascinating watching Chad yo-yo, between wrong and right, between what he wanted, and knew he shouldn’t have. Romeo knew he’d always win in Chad’s internal struggle, the same way Chad always won against the monster inside him.
“I can find killers, make sure they’re held accountable, punished. As Chad, I’m a lost cause, but as a detective I can still be a good person, I can right all the wrongs of Chad. But what if they see past the detective, and see…”
“See what?”
“Whatever I’ve turned into.”
“They won’t.”
“I could ruin this. I could ruin us.”
Chad gestured to the house, their house in the middle of nowhere, bought with the Canster Times’s compensation money. It was another farmhouse, but modern, surrounded by acres of land, with plenty of outbuildings for Romeo to hide in if he needed to. They had a long driveway, and sensors alerted Romeo to anyone driving their way, giving him plenty of time to make himself scarce. The last six months had been anything but easy, but they had found a place, and were determined to make a go of their unorthodox relationship.
“You’re not gonna ruin it.”
“They’ll know I’m messed up, they’ll come here, find you.”
“Stop.” Romeo said firmly. “You’re good at your job. The DI has vouched for you.”
“Out of guilt.”
“Either way, that’ll go in your favor. All you gotta do is go in there, and not blurt out I’m cooking dinner for you back at home.”
Chad was too nervous to laugh, but Romeo did. He pressed his forehead to Chad’s. “Tough crowd, okay, but I like a challenge.”
“It’s not gonna work...”
“What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?”
“Urgh, Romeo…”
“Close, Roberto.”
Chad laughed, then groaned. “You’re such an asshole.”
“Thank you. I treasure your compliments.”
“If I fuck this up…”
“You won’t.” Romeo looked over to the clock on the wall. “But I doubt they’d appreciate you being late.”
“Shit.” Chad said, checking his phone. “I better go.”
“Knock ‘em dead.”
Chad gave him a hard look, and Romeo saw it, the swirl of darkness in his eyes. It had appeared there after Marc, but Romeo didn’t know exactly what it was or what it meant. Before he could question it, Chad leaned forward, pressing his lips to Romeo’s. The chip, the blip, whatever it was in his big brown eyes could wait for another day.
Romeo opened his mouth, inviting Chad’s tongue inside, but Chad made a disapproving sound and backed off. “None of that, or I really will be late.”
“Spoilsport.”
Chad took his keys and wallet off the side, then left through the front door. Romeo watched from the kitchen as he got in the car, then drove away down the dirt track.
The new farmhouse was a million times better than a prison cell, not only did he have Chad, but he could cook, go outside, watch TV, listen to the radio, do the crossword, shower for as long as he wished, go to the toilet in a separate room to the one he slept in. He could touch Chad, kiss him breathless, and wrap around his body at night.
It was better in every conceivable way, but when Romeo looked down at his hands, they throbbed with his old need. The monster hadn’t gone away, he was still lurking in the depths of Romeo’s mind, unsatisfied, and craving more.
It was only Chad that kept it at bay. He couldn’t lose Chad. Couldn’t break the promise he’d made to his mother, but with Chad about to start his new job, he’d have less time to distract Romeo.
The monster had a taste, but hadn’t quenched its thirst.
He blinked out of his thoughts and looked up just in time to see a bird fly past the window. Romeo followed it, and watched as it landed in the mud, joining two more pecking for worms, shredding their thin pink bodies with their beaks.
They chattered, enjoying the slaughter.
As he watched, he wondered whether the magpies were a good omen or whether they predicted doom.
Romeo sighed.
“Three for a girl.”
The End