notes.
“Maybe you saw your parents and your bullies in the people you killed. The ultimate revenge for being treated so poorly.”
“Some advice,” Romeo said. “Don’t open the article with that, it’s awful.”
Holly laughed. “I’m still finding my feet, my style.”
“Terror sells.”
“An interesting story sells, too. I want to make my own mark on the Canster Times, no pun intended.”
Romeo frowned, then lifted his shoulders.
He didn’t get her joke.
“Never mind. There’s something we haven’t touched on yet.”
“What?”
“I wanted to talk about if you had completed your countdown.”
“But I didn’t.”
“But if you had. What would you have done?”
“No idea.”
“Come on, you were counting down from five for a reason, what would’ve happened when you got to number one?”
He hadn’t thought that far ahead. He allowed himself five. Five times he could satisfy his craving. He wasn’t counting down to anything, no grand finale. It was his allowance, nothing more. Even as a monster he knew he had to keep himself in check. They had a deal, and he hadn’t fulfilled it.
“Let’s say, the police didn’t stop you from killing Chad. He was your last, you’re number one. What would you have done next?”
“If I’d have killed Chad…”
“Yeah.”
“I would’ve joined him.”
Holly leaned back in her chair aghast. “You would’ve ended it. You would’ve killed yourself?”
“Yes. There would’ve been nothing else for me if I’d have killed Chad.”
“You were gonna end it all when you got to number one. That was the grand plan, the final victim … you would’ve been zero.”
Romeo rolled his eyes. “Or blast off depending on how you want to look at it.”
“It’s not funny, you’re talking about suicide, telling me that if you completed the countdown you would’ve ended your life.”
Romeo snorted. Holly heard what she wanted to hear, if he’d got his number one, he would’ve vanished, moved on. He didn’t have a clue what he would’ve done, or where he would’ve gone, but suicide wasn’t an option, but Chad … if, when Chad offered, Romeo had killed him, he never would’ve forgiven himself, he would’ve wanted to join him, and fast.
“It’s common.”
“What is?” Romeo asked.
“Killers taking their own lives, insuring they don’t get caught … they’re always untouchable.”
“I’m a standard serial killer then.”
“There’s nothing standard about you.” Holly grinned, then looked down at her notes. “I’m glad you didn’t finish your countdown.”
“Because you wouldn’t have met me, or because there’d be no article?”
“The article.” Holly said. “Without you, it wouldn’t be as interesting, I’d never get to the root cause of why it happened.”
Romeos sighed. “And there was me hoping you enjoyed seeing my face every week.”
Holly ducked her head, gathering her papers. She paused, and her badly hidden smile started to droop.
“What is it?” Romeo asked.
“How do you feel about Chad?”
“Chad…”
Romeo flexed his jaw. For weeks she’d been trying to get him to talk about Chad, and the two months in the farmhouse. He’d given her nothing, but she made her own assumptions. Holly was staring at him, seemingly intrigued by his reaction.
“You’ve never talked about him.”
Romeo shrugged.
“He’s the reason you didn’t finish your countdown … don’t you hate him?”
“Hate him?”
“For stopping you.”
Romeo flexed his hands. They were cuffed behind his back, but he could still curl his fingers. The desire to conclude his countdown hadn’t gone away. He still looked at everyone through the monster’s eyes, needing his next fix, knowing they could be it, they could set him free.
He still wanted his number one, as much as he wanted to escape.
“Chad’s complicated.”
Holly widened her eyes and scribbled more down on her sheets of paper. He didn’t bother trying to read it, he stared at the light behind Holly’s head, it looked hazy from his side of the barrier.
“So you still have this need to complete the countdown, to finish it so you can end your life.”
Romeo didn’t answer, but he saw her pen moving fast, scribbling down more rubbish.
“The police arrived just as you were strangling Chad.”
That’s what it had looked like, Chad helpless on the mattress, Romeo pinning him, squeezing him, killing him. But in that moment, he had been the helpless one, Chad had flipped the situation on its head and had been the one in control.
“You were arrested and confessed to everything.”
“That’s right, they’d caught me. The countdown, the challenge, whatever you want to call it, difficult, but doable, but ov—on hold, because of Chad.”
“Difficult in a moral way?”
Romeo laughed. “We’ve been talking for months, and you’re so desperate for me to feel guilt, or regret. When you gonna realize it’s