he couldn’t relieve it yet was pure torture.
Romeo twisted the taps, then slapped water on his face and the back of his neck. He looked at himself in the mirror, calmed his breathing, then left the bathroom.
He approached the table his mother and father were sitting at on the balcony. They hadn’t noticed him, too wrapped up in each other, leaning closer, their hands linked on the table. They always hugged and held hands, but he’d hardly ever seen them kiss. It seemed to be enjoyable for them having their bodies pressed together, their fingers entwined. Romeo didn’t get it himself. If he let someone get that close, they’d see his ugliness, his murderous intent.
He forced his lips into a smile, then slipped into the chair opposite them.
“Sorry about that.”
His father laughed. “You needed to use the bathroom, there’s nothing to be sorry about.”
“True. Do you feel like an after-dinner coffee?”
His mother nodded. She liked coffee, always with a dash of milk and two sugars, just the way Romeo liked it, too.
“You know, when you asked us out for dinner, I thought you might have an announcement to make.”
Romeo frowned. “I did. I’m head of the company.”
“Okay, not an announcement as such, more … that you might introduce someone special to us.”
“Someone special?”
“Yeah … someone special…”
“What your mother is trying to say is we thought you were gonna introduce us to a romantic partner.”
Romeo looked at his mother, her big green eyes that seemed to get bigger the longer she looked at him. He’d played his parents for years, made them proud. All his triumphs were celebrated by them, too, but gradually the pride started to fade, and worry grew. He didn’t have romantic relationships, and they’d noticed. It was too dangerous, he might lose control, and he wasn’t ready to release the monster, not yet.
“So is there anyone?”
He saw hope in his mother’s eyes, and quickly looked away.
“No, no romantic partner.”
“I do worry about you.”
Romeo looked back at his mother. “It’s not me you should be worried about.”
“What?”
“I just mean, I’m happy as I am. The job, the apartment,” Romeo gestured to the restaurant, his clothes, then laughed. “The finer things.”
“But you don’t look happy.”
“I’m smiling, aren’t I?”
“But it’s not real, a mother can tell. I don’t want you to be lonely, Romeo, after we’re gone—”
He lowered his gaze. “We’re supposed to be celebrating.”
“I worry about you. My biggest wish is for you to find someone.” She squeezed his father’s hand. “I want you to experience love. To have someone there for you, for the good, the bad, the ugly.”
“Definitely the ugly.” Romeo’s father said.
“Not everyone needs love.”
His mother recoiled. “What does that mean?”
“Some people don’t want or need a romantic partner, but they still have fulfilling lives. They achieve their goals.”
“I understand that, but they have love, whether friends, or family, they still have love, company.”
Romeo’s shirt stuck to him. He was sweating, and despite sitting on the balcony, he still felt far too hot. “I’ve got you.”
“But when we’re no longer here. You don’t have brothers or sisters, or cousins, or aunties, and uncles, or friends.”
Romeo took a sip of water. “Don’t sugar coat it.”
“I’m serious, Romeo.”
He lowered his gaze. “I know you are. Maybe I’ve not found someone to spend my life with yet, there’s still plenty of time, but for now, I’m content with what I have.”
His mother detangled her hand, then reached across the table for Romeo’s. She held him and stared deep into his eyes. “Promise me when you do find it, you’ll never let it go.”
Her big green eyes connected with his, and he knew he should look away, break the eye contact before she saw past the façade, the emptiness, and saw the cage, and the monster lurking inside. His eyes stung, watered, and he didn’t look away, even when she frowned.
He hadn’t felt that lost since he’d been a child. The integral desire to experience what others did, and not being able to. Knowing he was messed up for not feeling what he should’ve, and for craving something dark.
“Promise me.”
Romeo’s eyes burned. His heart drummed in his chest. Why couldn’t he have been born with a normal brain? Why couldn’t he have been able to love his mother like she deserved? His whole existence was an ugliness only he could see.
His father cleared his throat, and Romeo blinked.
“I promise I won’t let it go.” Romeo said, then he took back his hand, and picked up the drinks menu, hiding his