motions, and for what? I was wasting what he’d given me. If that wasn’t an awful way to repay someone then I didn’t know what was.
“Thank you,” I sniffled, pulling away after a good cry.
“That’s the last thing you need to say, Ana. I’m here for you. No matter what.”
“I-I’m just so broken, Kellin. What if I can’t do this? What if—”
“No. Stop. You’re overthinking it. Just breathe. I’m not going to push you on this. I know you need time.”
“Isn’t this hard for you? I mean, after everything you’ve said about how you feel? Wouldn’t you much rather fight for someone who’s not so damaged? Someone who comes without baggage?” I waved my hands helplessly.
“Ana. Ana. I am fighting for what I want. I’ve been fighting for so long, and I’ll continue to do it, even if it means forever. Because you’re worth it. You’re worth forever, Ana. You are my forever.”
“Have you always been this person?” I asked, staring into his handsome face.
A tiny smile broke out on his lips, and he squeezed my hand gently.
“And what person is that?”
“Ju-just so wonderful, I guess.”
“You think I’m wonderful?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“You know I do,” I scoffed. “You’re amazing. I-I just wished things had been different before all of this.”
He smiled sadly at me and nodded.
I was just about to say more to him, to tell him I’d meant what I said about trying, when a loud knock sounded on my door.
“Niall. Come on! The horses are saddled. Let’s hunt.”
Kellin let out a sigh, his lips curved into a smile. He rose to his feet, and I followed, not really wanting him to leave, but knowing my poor drunken brother would be devastated if he didn’t get to go stab something with his sword.
“Thank you for tonight, Ana,” Kellin said, turning to me and giving me his beautiful smile. “It meant so much to me.”
“Me too,” I answered honestly, not knowing the standard protocol for this sort of thing.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asked, taking my hand in his.
“Yes.”
“Then tomorrow cannot come soon enough, my beautiful princess.” He leaned down and placed a tender kiss on my cheek. When he finally opened the door and disappeared with my brother down the hall, the tingle from his lips was still on my cheek.
I touched it gently, wondering how my heart would get through all of this.
Chapter 27
“If you hold your sword like this,” Rowan instructed as he came to my side and took my sword from me, his hand higher on the hilt than mine had been, “you’ll find it’s easier to handle.” He handed it back to me.
I mimicked his movements, giving a heavy swing.
“These things are just too heavy,” I sighed.
“Well, they’re pretty much the basic weapon here in Winterset,” Rowan replied, picking up his own sword. “If you aren’t a swordsman, then you’re an archer or you’re running heavier stuff like the trebuchet. Or, I guess, a wielder, if we can get enough of them.”
“A wielder?”
“Yeah, like you.” He shrugged. “Well, not like you, but people who can wield the elements.”
“Like Tarek?”
“Yeah, I guess so. Although, Tarek is damn good in a sword fight. He prefers to use an actual weapon rather than the elements.” Rowan glanced over to Tarek, who was overseeing a group of men practicing with their weapons.
I followed his gaze and observed as Tarek calmly helped his soldiers. He was never like that when he worked with me. Most of the time during our sessions, he snapped at me like an angry dog.
Tarek must have sensed us watching him because he turned and stared back at us, his face as impassive as ever. He was still familiar in an unfamiliar way, kind of like knowing something but not knowing how I knew it. He turned and said something to the soldier he was assisting before heading in our direction.
“Oh, great,” I grumbled, dreading the inevitable. “I shouldn’t have made eye contact.”
“He’s probably going to want to see what you’ve learned so far today,” Rowan commented as Tarek approached us. “Good luck.”
“Thanks,” I grumbled.
“What is it that you need?” Tarek asked idly, his gaze leveling on me.
“I don’t need a thing,” I lied, wanting to ask him what he was talking about in the garden when he said the dead never leave.
“You must need something from me if you have time to stand and gawk. Has Rowan not been teaching defensive moves to your liking?”
“What? No. Rowan is great.” I wiped my forehead,