murmured. “And I’m really only four years old here.”
“You’d be a small child had you stayed here,” she agreed. “But you didn’t, and now you are as you stand, a beautiful eighteen-year-old woman.”
“This is crazy,” I shook my head in disbelief. “All of this is nuts.”
She regarded me silently, a sad smile marring her pretty face. I shook my head and stared out at the sprawling city below, wondering what the coming days would hold for me, for Winterset, and if I had the courage to handle it all.
“Calix was the same as his father,” I said after a moment of contemplation. “You said Zaros was different than he is now. Calix was different too. The Calix I knew never wanted to hurt people, at least I don’t think he did. He loved me, and I love him.”
“Life would be easier if things were as simple as some try to make us believe. I think there’s a darkness within all of us. Something that makes us willing to sacrifice to achieve what we desire. The choice lies within us to let it out or keep it caged,” she murmured, following my gaze.
“Do you think Zaros could be saved?” I asked softly. “If Calix were alive, do you think he could be saved?”
“I believe anyone can be saved if they desire it. I think Zaros has been consumed by his anger, his hatred for the world, but I think there may still be a spot of light residing in him that craves love and acceptance.”
“Yours?” I murmured.
She cast me a sweet, sad smile and nodded.
“Perhaps, but I could never love him as I once did, and because of that, the hatred and betrayal in his soul will only be fueled more. It’s best sometimes to simply let go. The only way Zaros will ever be at peace is when the last breath leaves his body. His death will release what’s left of a tormented man.”
“I don’t know if I’m strong enough to kill him.” I swallowed hard, my stomach twisted into knots at the very idea of killing someone. When I’d first awakened, I thought I could do it. Now that I was saner, I realized maybe I didn’t have it in me.
“Sometimes it isn’t strength, but your weakness, which will drive your hand forward,” she answered delicately. “You simply need to let go of what was and what can never be, Analia. I know how much you loved Calix. I, too, once loved like that. It only ended in heartache. Granted, they are two very different situations, but love is the center of both. Let Calix rest in peace.”
“It’s hard letting go,” I said, wiping a tear away. “I loved Calix. I still love him. I miss him. I feel like every breath is a pull on my heart, a painful, burning that won’t go away. I don’t know if I can do this. I-I don’t want to exist without him.”
“I know, sweetheart.” She pulled me in for another embrace, and I sobbed against her, the cries racking my body. “It has to get better.”
“And what if it doesn’t? What if it always hurts?”
She didn’t say anything, and I knew she felt the same way for Zaros as I felt for Calix, only her pain had been scarred over, while my wounds were still fresh and bleeding.
Chapter 10
I left my mother’s chambers feeling slightly closer to her, like she was a lot like the woman who was my mother in Earth Realm. I mulled over her words, finding a shred of reassurance in them and clinging to it, hoping they’d help me move forward.
“Princess, you need to watch where you’re going,” a voice said breathlessly as I rounded a corner and ran into what felt like a brick wall. I looked up and rubbed my head, which I’d hit on something, and scowled.
“What do you want?” I snapped, peering up into the handsome, albeit annoyed, face of Tarek.
“Don’t you remember? I was going to collect you after your visit with the queen.”
“I was hoping you’d forgotten,” I mumbled, sidestepping him to go around.
“I’d never forget. I made you a promise, after all.”
“And what promise was that?” I dared, Tarek falling in step beside me.
“To demonstrate how weak you are before the sun set.” He smirked at me, his blue eyes lighting up.
“I’m not working with you,” I snapped as I stomped down the hall.
“I realize you’re a princess, your grace, but you don’t need to behave as such,” Tarek commented