a promise that unlocks something inside me, finally setting it free. I feel my heart expanding in my chest, my blood singing with magick.
He’s right. I am worthy of this. And though I’m still learning my way through it, stumbling over challenges and facing down what feels like impossible odds and yes, screwing up more than a few things along the way, I’m growing into it too. I’m making it my own. I’m embracing it.
My parents wanted to protect me from this life, to shield me from the perils and pitfalls of magick and the Academy. But somehow, I know—really, truly know—they’d be proud of me too.
They are proud of me.
“Stevie. Look.” Doc pulls away from our kiss and glances at the ground between us, where several of the hyacinth blooms have fallen from my hair. The red-brown earth swallows them whole, and in their place, yellow roses bloom, their sweetness mingling with the spicy scent of frankincense—a combination I’ve always associated with my mother.
“Mom,” I whisper, tears of gratitude blurring my vision. I’ve no sooner said the word when I feel her otherworldly touch on my cheek, and then soft fingers slipping something into my shirt pocket.
Tarot cards.
Doc lets out a quick breath. “I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to that.”
Blinking away my tears, I retrieve the first card. It’s the Six of Cups, depicting a man holding a chalice, gazing out his window at two children playing outside. Overhead, clouds gather, but the children are none the wiser.
I often associate this card with nostalgia; sometimes it’s a message to look back on the past with fondness and gratitude. Other times it’s a warning of the dangers of living in the past.
Today, it’s the latter.
My throat tightens, and immediately my mind’s eye flashes to a photograph of two young boys, one dark-haired and one blond, arms around each other like the best of friends. It’s Doc and his brother Xavier—the photo he showed me before Harvest Eve dinner when he told me about his brother’s passing.
I glance at the card again, this time at the man. There’s love in his eyes, but a deep sadness lingers too. Regret. Unlike the cups outside, overflowing with the children’s toys, his chalice holds something different. Something that speaks to me of Doc’s whiskey bottles—the medicine he so often relies on to get through the night.
Reaching into my shirt pocket, I fish out the second card.
Judgment.
“What is it?” Doc asks, his energy turning tense. I almost don’t want to show him, but this message was meant for both of us.
“Doc, being here… We’re not just facing the physical dangers of losing our soul’s connection to the body. I told you that Judgment already knows we’re here—I’m sure he can sense our comings and goings at this point. But if he actually finds us… If our paths cross…” I shake my head, handing over the cards. “He gets into our minds. More than his wand, that’s his greatest weapon. He digs through our memories and uncovers the worst, most terrifying ones, twisting them into even darker versions, forcing us to relive our greatest pains and regrets over and over and over. And as Baz has proven all too well, when we wake up from this realm, we don’t always leave the nightmares behind.”
Doc’s face pales, his hands trembling as he stares at the cards. He doesn’t need me to translate.
After a beat, the cards finally vanish.
Doc wipes his hand on his pants as if he can remove the stain of their ominous warning, then reaches for my hand again. “Then let’s be sure he doesn’t cross our path.”
Keeping me in a firm grip, he leads us along the muddy banks, following the direction of the river to what we hope is a way out—or at least a way to avoid Judgment long enough for us to wake up and return home. After what feels like an hour, we reach the mouth of a small sandstone cave, the inside pulsing with the same ruby-red light I saw in the water.
We pause at the entrance, both of us trying to peer inside. But despite the glow, I can’t see beyond the first couple of feet. Everything inside is couched in shadow.
“Do you know what it is?” I ask. “If it leads somewhere?”
Doc shakes his head. “I’ve never explored this far north.”
“Do you think it actually exists? In our realm, I mean?”
“It’s possible, though I’m not sure about that red glow.” He considers it another moment,