she smiles too much. No one smiles that much. Pretty sure she’s on drugs.”
Mont gave Jacob the dirty look to end all dirty looks, which was a natural skill of his. “You can’t be serious.”
“I’m always serious.”
“She’s sixty-four years old.”
Jacob rolled his eyes. “You think people stop making bad decisions when they hit sixty? Nope. Anyway, you remember before I left for the city, she used to work at Jimmy’s? I ordered a slice of her apple pie once, and there was a hair in it.”
“That’s why you don’t want to invite her back?”
Jacob frowned at his friend. “Why are you using your Jacob’s being unreasonable voice? I don’t want hairy pie, Montlake. Do you want hairy pie? Because if you’re that hot for hairy pie, I will make you a hairy pie.”
“You couldn’t pay me to eat your cooking, which is kind of why we’re here.” Mont scrubbed a hand over his face and screwed his eyes shut for a second. “Come on, man. You left five years ago. You think she hasn’t learned how to wear a hairnet in five years? Call her back, let her cook for us, give her a chance.”
“No.” Jacob knew he sounded like a dick. He knew even Mont, who got him better than everyone, probably thought he was being a dick. But sometimes it was easier to keep his thought processes to himself because other people either had trouble following them, or thought they were unnecessarily blunt.
Bluntness was never unnecessary.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
This book had teeth and it sucked me dry. I flatter myself that it’s a fairly funny read, but imagine me crying and bleeding for every line of witty sarcasm and you’ll get the picture. I couldn’t have produced this bad boy without all the support I received from the lovely people in my life.
Thanks first and foremost to my family for keeping me alive while Dani and Zaf spent months trying to kill me. Mum, Sam, Tru, I don’t know how you lived with me, but you did. Props. I owe you each a Coke.
Thank you, of course, to my lovely agent, Courtney Miller-Callihan, and my editor, Nicole Fischer, who talked me off of many authorial ledges and gave me exactly what I needed, when I needed it. If it weren’t for the both of you, I probably would’ve rewritten this book ten times instead of three.
Thank you to the incredible team at HarperCollins for all of your support, and to Georgina Kamsika and Aimal Farooq for helping me represent a culture not my own. I hope I did the Ansaris justice.
Finally, thank you to Kenya Goree-Bell, Layla Abdullah-Poulos, Mina Waheed, Therese Beharrie, Ali Williams, Yusra, Yasmin, Chiara, Umber, and Laila for your invaluable advice and encouragement.
Also, thank you to Bree Runway for “2ON,” the motivational bop of the century.
Praise for Talia Hibbert
‘Talia Hibbert is a rock star! Her writing is smart, funny and sexy . . . She’ll make you fall in love with her sweetly imperfect characters, who are so real you’ll wish you could give them all a hug’
—Meg Cabot, No. 1 New York Times bestselling author of the Little Bridge Island and the Princess Diaries series
‘Hibbert joins important voices in contemporary romance who write steamy page-turners where the characters look nothing like they did a generation ago – and that’s a wonderful thing’
—Washington Post
‘Get a Life, Chloe Brown is . . . a warm, laugh-filled, life-affirming tribute to the hard work and rewards of healing, honouring the courage it requires to love oneself’
—Entertainment Weekly (Best Romances of 2019)
‘Hibbert shows how standard romance tropes – misunderstandings, meddling sisters, a steamy camping trip – can be elevated to sublime pleasure in the hands of a brilliant writer . . . An extraordinary book, full of love, generosity, kindness, and sharp humour’
—New York Times Book Review on Get a Life, Chloe Brown
‘A rom-com with depth, one that explores living with illness, the benefits of therapy, and how two people can better communicate when they slough off their own rough exteriors’
—Shondaland on Get a Life, Chloe Brown
‘If you love rom-coms, this incredibly charming novel will sweep you off your feet’
—PopSugar on Get a Life, Chloe Brown
‘Poised to be a hit’
—Refinery29
‘We are in for a real treat . . . You’ll get lost in the hilarious yarn’
—Essence
‘A tour-de-force romance that tackles tough problems like insecurity and chronic pain while still delivering a laugh-out-loud love story full of poignant revelations about human nature . . . But what gives this story its depth is Hibbert’s voice – you live each character’s pain, joy, laughter, love, longing. And when Red Morgan and Chloe Brown get into your head – good grief – there’s nothing like it’
—NPR.org on Get a Life, Chloe Brown