warm water.
“But no,” she went on, “the flowers haven’t triggered some sort of existential crisis in me, if that’s what you’re worried about. Actually, I’ve decided this sort of thing might suit me. Perhaps I find it a little difficult to describe how I feel about you—but if I can do something like this to show you . . . well. I don’t mind that.” Actually, she loved it. Loved the smile she’d put on his face, loved the happiness radiating from him even now. He was like the sun, but twice as vital to her existence. She was certain of that.
“All right,” he said softly. “All right.” Then he sank onto the puddle of petals at their feet, and she curled up in his lap and held him tight, as if he might disappear.
Lord, how she prayed he’d never disappear.
A slight breeze rustled her skirt, and his calloused thumb swept over her bare forearm in that slow, lazy arc she’d missed so fucking much. “I know this isn’t going to be easy,” she whispered. “But I want to try. I want to try with you, and not give up this time.”
“Good,” Zaf said. His eyes burned into hers as if he could stamp his words into her mind, into her heart. “I would rather be trying and stumbling with you than doing anything—seriously, absolutely anything—with anyone else.”
Dani swallowed back a lump of adoration and tried to sound lighthearted as opposed to disgracefully emotional. “Even if I don’t change my mildly controversial stance on anniversaries?”
“Fuck anniversaries,” he said promptly. “As a very smart woman once told me, that’s what Valentine’s Day is for.”
Dani’s laughter became tears after approximately two seconds. She threw her arms around him with such force that anyone else would’ve fallen—but Zaf didn’t. He took the hit and held her tight against his chest where she could feel his pounding heart, or maybe it was hers, or maybe they shared hearts now—she wasn’t quite sure how this romance arrangement worked. But she was sure she wanted it, no matter the risks.
“This love business is absolutely nonsensical,” she told him unsteadily.
“I know,” he replied. “Isn’t it great?”
EPILOGUE
One Year Later
Zaf shut the front door and hung up his coat, sweaty from an evening’s practice with his local amateur rugby league, and vibrating with a certainty that Danika was up to something.
They had a routine, on nights like this: as soon as he got home, she’d jump his bones and ask about his day. Apparently, she liked sweat. She also liked grilling him about meetings and workshops while playing with his dick, because it made her laugh when he got his words mixed up.
But today? Zaf clocked her shoes in the hallway, but Dani herself was nowhere to be found.
“Hey, trouble,” he called as he put his Tesco bags down in the kitchen. “Where are you?”
There was a pause before she shouted from the bedroom, “Nowhere.”
The last time Dani had nowhere’d him, it was because she’d accidentally bought a fern on Facebook Marketplace that was almost as big as Zaf—despite being banned from buying any more plants because they could no longer see their TV.
She was taking her newfound work–life balance, and the accompanying hobbies, very seriously.
Zaf shook his head and followed her voice with a sigh. He had visions of his bedside table being replaced by a giant pot of bamboo. “Dan. Sweetheart. You know we don’t have space for any more—”
“Don’t come in!” Her voice was muffled through the closed door. “I’m in the bedroom. But don’t come in! And don’t worry, I didn’t buy another plant.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“I didn’t! Well, not unless you count that teeny, tiny cactus from Urban Outfitters—”
“Danika!”
“He’s only a baby, Zaf, darling, have a heart. And stay out of the bedroom.” She was laughing, but there was a squeaky edge to her voice that sounded almost like . . . nerves?
Hmm.
In the year since they’d decided to be together—really together—Dani had treated keeping in touch with her emotions the same way she treated everything else: as a goal to be hit so hard and so accurately, she split the target in two. But when it came to feelings, and learned behavior, and past hurts, you couldn’t just read a few books and try really, really hard and be better. No one could. So, a little while back, they’d made a deal. It was a simple one.
When Zaf was worried about Dani, he pushed. And if it felt like too much, she told