asleep in her room.” Van checked her watch. “It’s almost nine-thirty. You want to take a raincheck on the movie? Maybe we should both make it an early night.”
“I’m not that tired.” Zoe yawned, and Van bit down a smile.
“I know, but I am,” Van lied. “Let’s watch a movie tomorrow night instead.”
“Maybe Mom can watch it, too.” Zoe’s eyes lit up. Van’s heart almost broke seeing her excitement.
“Maybe.” Van smiled tightly. “Good night, kiddo.”
“Good night.” Zoe hugged her tight, and for a moment Van felt her heart rate slow down. Zoe’s hair smelled the same as Van’s – she’d begged to use her shampoo that morning. But there was a sweetness there, too. Probably the soda and candy she’d indulged on earlier. Whatever it was, it smelled like peace.
She locked all the doors as Zoe brushed her teeth, and turned out the living room light. Compared to the rest of the house, Van’s bedroom felt warm and inviting. She’d bought a new bedspread and pillow shams, and their pale gray and white flowers looked welcoming.
She glanced at her reflection in her bedroom mirror. How many times had she looked in this glass as a kid? She’d lean forward and scrutinize the freckles that dappled the bridge of her nose, wishing her skin was as pristine as Chrissie Fairfax’s. She’d scowl at the way her hair always curled into soft waves, wishing it was as straight as her friends’. No matter how many times Tanner told her she was beautiful, she hadn’t believed it.
At the age of twenty-eight she’d thought she was beyond those emotions.
And yet… her heart didn’t seem to agree. It felt so small right now. Like she was still little Van Butler, Kim’s kid. The one who had to go to school and scavenge food from wherever she could because her mom had forgotten to go to the grocery store. Pride had been her shield in those days. She’d always made sure she had the last laugh by pretending not to care.
But the truth was she did care. Too much. And now everybody would be talking about her again. How her mom was drunk in the Moonlight Bar and argued with Johnny Fairfax’s girl. That she had to slur out an apology to avoid the cops being called.
Van’s eyes prickled at the thought of having to walk through the town tomorrow, knowing she was at the center of the gossip. And yet she would, because that’s what she did. Pretended she didn’t care. Not about Chrissy or Natalie or anybody else that looked down on her mom.
Or about the way Tanner smiled at Chrissie tonight, his eyes soft and warm. Van’s stomach churned at the memory.
The tears were rolling down her cheeks. Angrily, she wiped them away and turned from her reflection, grabbing her shorts and tank top from beneath her pillow to take to the bathroom. She had enough of feeling sorry for herself. She wasn’t that kid anymore. It was okay, it really was.
Tap tap.
At first she thought it was Zoe or her mom knocking on her bedroom door. But then she realized the sound was coming from her window. Her breath caught in her throat as she turned, half expecting to see the police standing on the other side of the glass.
But instead it was a man. A tall one, with dark hair and thick muscles that molded the lines of his black top. Their eyes met, and for a moment she stared at him, her body flooding with emotions at the sight.
Walking over to the window, her hand shook as she unlatched the lever, pushing the pane out until the evening air rushed in.
“Hey. I saw the light in your window. I wanted to check that you’re okay.”
“I’m good.” Maybe it was even true, because he was here and not with Chrissie Fairfax. God, it was good to see him.
“I’m sorry about what happened.” He curled his fingers around the windowsill, leaning in through the open pane. “I tried to get your mom to come home… before you arrived.”
Her lips curled into the hint of a smile. “Thank you for trying. I hope she didn’t say anything too embarrassing to you.”
“She might have mentioned all those times she found me in your bed.”
Van let out a mouthful of air. “We were kids. There was nothing to it.” Her skin warmed at the memory of the way they’d curled up together.
“She thought I was hitting on her, too.” Tanner’s lip quirked up. “In case