didn’t want you anymore. I think that’s why it hurt so bad seeing you with her. I pushed you away. I hated myself for it, and the only person I could take it out on was you.”
“I don’t want you to lie to me,” he told her. “The truth, no matter how painful, is so much better than lies. Even little white ones that you think are protecting me.”
Her eyes watered. “I’m so sorry for hurting you. Ten years ago and now.”
Those words made his chest tighten. He hadn’t realized how much he needed to hear that, too.
“It’s okay,” he told her. “I’m the one who’s sorry. I just want you to let me take care of you. I don’t need anything else. I want you to let me through your barriers. For you to be more honest with me than you’ve been with anybody. Including yourself.” He looked down at his hands. “And in return, I promise you that I won’t walk away. Not even when you push me as hard as you can. I’ll fight for you, Van. Every damn time. Because you’re worth fighting for. But you’ve got to let me in. I can’t break down your barriers if you don’t help me. And I want to pull them away, one by one.”
“I was scared,” she said quietly. “So scared that if I let you in you might not like what you see.”
His eyes met hers. “I love what I see. I love you. Every beat of my heart feels like it belongs to you.”
Her breath caught in her throat, but she didn’t pull her gaze away. She could feel the hot pulse of her blood as they stared at each other, the air crackling with electricity. She parted her lips, a soft sigh escaping from them, before she took a long, deep breath.
“I love you, too,” she whispered. “So much.” She’d never said it before. Not to anybody. For so long love had meant weakness in her world. But now she knew it didn’t. It brought a strength that no army could break down. It was solid. It was true.
It was everything.
Tanner took a deep breath in, his eyes flashing. “Say it again,” he said, his voice rough.
“I’m in love with you.” This time her voice was loud. True. “I’ve loved you since the first time you knocked me over. And I’ll love you until I die. Until we both do. And I pray with everything I’m worth that it’ll be curled up together, all wrinkled with kids older than we are now.”
He squeezed his eyes shut, then opened them again, his stare dark and full of meaning. “Come here,” he said gruffly. “I fucking need you.”
He didn’t need to ask twice. A normal person would have walked around the coffee table, along the wall to the chair. But not Van. She leaped onto the table, ready to cross it to him, but he stood, scooping her off it, lifting her until their lips clashed together, and she was curled around him like a monkey.
“Enough talking,” he muttered, carrying her out of the living room and down the hallway, kicking her bedroom door open and walking inside.
When he kicked the door closed behind him, their kisses slowed. They were deeper, their breathing rougher, as he slowly lowered her to her bed.
This time they didn’t talk. They didn’t need to. He’d told her everything she needed to know.
He loved her, he worshiped her. He wanted to take care of her.
And she’d let him, with every sweep of his lips and feathered touch of his fingers, lifting her up into a place where words weren’t needed anymore.
When it was over, she lay in his arms in a post-sex haze, smiling at him as he softly stroked her hair.
“Can I stay?” he asked her.
“Yeah. All night.” She grinned at him. “I’ll even make you breakfast in the morning.”
He lifted a brow. “What will the neighbors say?”
She leaned forward to kiss him. “I don’t give a damn.”
Tanner grinned, sliding his arms around her waist and pulling her to his body. “That’s my girl,” he murmured against her lips. “Now let’s give them something to really talk about.”
Chapter Thirty-Five
“Are you ready for this?” Tanner asked, taking Van’s hand in his as they walked along the creek.
“As I’ll ever be.” She smiled at Tanner, but her stomach still felt funny. Like she hadn’t eaten for days when she’d just had a second helping of chicken pot pie at the diner. Tanner was