wisp of control that was holding him back seemed to dissipate as he stared down at her, taking in her warm eyes, her soft lips, her pink cheeks. She was looking at him like he was the air she breathed. It made him ache all over.
For her.
“Damn,” he whispered, sliding his palm up her neck, tangling his fingers into her hair until her head was angled perfectly to his. She overwhelmed his senses. He was full of her. The scent of her strawberry shampoo, the sight of her wide eyes staring into his. He could hear her, too. Soft sighs that made him harder than he’d ever felt before. He tried to remember why he was here, what he was planning to do. But all he could think about were her enticing lips.
Slowly, he lowered his mouth to hers. They touched as she breathed out, warm air caressing his skin. His tongue pressed against hers, and she let out a low moan, flinging her arms around his neck to steady herself.
God, he needed her. She arched her back, kissing him, hot and needy, and he scooped his arms beneath her, lifting her until her legs wrapped around his hips. Carrying her over to the bed, he dropped her onto the mattress, his eyes dark as he went to climb on top of her.
You need to talk, dumbass.
“Get the fuck out of here,” he muttered with annoyance.
“What?” Van frowned.
He shook his head. “Not you. It’s Logan. He’s messing with my mind.”
She propped herself up on her elbows, and he tried really hard not to stare at the way her t-shirt molded against her breasts. “Logan’s here?”
“Nope, he’s in Boston. I still want to kill him though.” He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck with the palm of his right hand. “Come on, let’s go talk.”
“Now?” She sounded disappointed. He felt the same.
“Yeah, now.”
She nodded. “Okay. You want me to make you coffee?”
“Coffee would be great.” He followed her out of the bedroom, his aching hardness protesting at the sudden change of heart. “And if it’s okay with you, I’m going to talk really fast.”
Van sat on the sofa, her knees against her chest, her arms wrapped around her calves, as Tanner took a sip of black coffee.
He’d insisted on sitting in the recliner on the other side of the room. She knew why. Every time they were close they ended up touching each other. They nearly stripped each other in the kitchen as she filled the coffee filter.
Her eyes met his. “Shall we talk?”
“Can I go first?”
Van nodded.
He put his coffee mug down on the table. “First of all, I want to say I’m sorry. Not just for the other night, though that was bad enough. But for every time I’ve walked away from you. It’s happened more than it ever should’ve. And I can promise you that whatever happens between us, I’ll never be the one to walk away again.” He looked up at her, his expression serious. “I’m in love with you, Van Butler. And I never want to hurt you.”
“Okay,” she said softly.
“And we need to talk about what happened between us when you came to Duke. We should have talked about it weeks ago.”
“I didn’t want to talk about it. It hurt too much,” she whispered.
“I know. And I didn’t want to either. But maybe those things that hurt are the things we should be talking about. The things that matter to us. And what happened between us matters, Van. Because it ruined both of our lives. It didn’t have to, but we let it. Because we refused to talk it through.”
“That makes sense.”
“Yeah, it does.” He nodded. “And I want you to know that girl meant nothing. I was a kid, I was angry, and I needed someone to hold me. As soon as I did it, I knew she was the wrong someone.”
“We weren’t together then. It wasn’t like you were cheating.”
“Yeah, well tell my heart that. Because it’s always been yours. And I never want to be with anybody but you. I’ve never stopped regretting that night. Everything about it. It should never have happened, and that’s all my fault. I’m so damn sorry I hurt you.” He winced at the memory. “But the thing I hate the most is that I froze and let you walk away. I’m never going to do that again.”
“It was my fault, too,” Van told him. “I’m the one that lied to you. I told you I