Mrs. Del Luca’s eyes find me, she falls to her knees, her purse spills on the floor, but she doesn’t even notice or care. I crawl over to her and wrap my arms around her. MacKenzie, Hailey, and Hunter walk in just as I reach her. The girls take one look at us sitting on the floor, they both lower to their knees and wrap their arms around us as we sit on the floor crying. Hunter takes a seat in one of the empty chairs, leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees.
After a while we all wipe our faces. I sit on the floor with Layla’s mom, Hailey’s in an empty chair and MacKenzie has crawled on to Hunter’s lap.
“Where’s Mase?” I ask Hailey.
She nods towards the door. “Talking to Cooper.”
“Do you know who did this to her?” Mrs. Del Luca asks.
I shake my head but something deep down inside of me tells me I know who did it. The words that Layla said to me once repeat over and over in my head. “Laughing now but you’ll be crying later.” I don’t want to think it was him but who else would do this to them? What reason would they have? It’s not like they were trying to break in the club or anything.
I stand and start to pace back and forth getting more and more anxious. I can’t lose them, I won’t be able to handle it if that happens. “I’ve gotta go for a walk.” I open the door and practically run out of the room.
“You okay?” Cooper asks.
“Fine, just need some air.” I say walking past him.
I wander around the hospital for a while, my cell phone a ticking time bomb in my back pocket waiting for someone to call me back to the room. I stumble across a little chapel. No one is sitting in it so I walk in and take a seat in the back row.
I look up shaking my head. “So we meet again. You know I don’t pray or even go to church. I’m still not even sure I believe in God but I’m begging you, please, let Layla and Eli be okay. Let them make it through this surgery.” I close my eyes to fight off the tears. “You can’t take everyone I love away from me.”
I sit here for a while, feeling safe. I ask for forgiveness for everything I’ve ever done wrong, hoping and praying He’s listening. My eyes grow heavy due to the lack of sleep over the last month with everything weighing heavy on me. I lean forward, arms on the back of the bench and rest my head on them. My body yearning for rest, my mind fighting it.
Dreams.
I'm not sure I like them.
I'm not sure I don't like them either.
I do know I hate the ones that feel real. The ones when you wake up with your heart pounding, feeling like you can’t breathe, whole body trembles and your eyes are wet from your tears.
I place a hand over my rapidly beating heart. It’s thumping so hard. Reaching up with my other hand I wipe my wet eyes with the back of my hand.
I try to recall the dream that I woke from just seconds ago but I can’t. My mind is running in a million different directions; flashes of a funeral, a smiling baby, a wedding, a new house, baseball fields, Fierce, a death, another death, a broken heart and a black door.
My phone dings and startles me. I must have dozed off.
I freeze before reaching for it.
Cooper 9:44pm: I need you to come upstairs.
I send one more prayer up to God before wandering back into the hallway. I pass the cafeteria, a gift shop, lots of office doors and some bathrooms. I’m in no hurry to get back there. If it’s bad news this is just prolonging it, if it’s good news everyone can see them first because I’m not leaving two of my closest friends alone until they leave the hospital.
I reach the elevators and hit the up button. It dings then the door opens. I step in and press the number three. With each passing floor it gets harder and harder to breathe. The elevator dings and the doors open. I step out, turn the corner and walk to the room where my friends and my family are waiting.
“Please, God, please let them be okay.”
I take a deep breath and hold it until my lungs burn. I