there is a taste of metallic in my mouth, and I’m gasping for air.
When Fallon screams, Brian lets go. She starts to cry and comes running to me but I put my hand up stopping her. “Go to your room, now.” I manage to croak out.
She runs off and shuts the door once she’s safely inside. She doesn’t need to see this shit. “I am not cheating on you with Eli, Brian. He’s my fucking boss.”
“I told you once before to quit and now I fucking mean it. That stupid ass fucking job isn’t even paying the rent.”
“It is paying the fucking bills.” I yell finding my voice again. The anger is building and it’s about to explode. I’m at my breaking point. I can’t live like this anymore. I don’t deserve this. “My fucking mom stole my money. Have you not noticed I didn’t need to borrow money from you this whole month? No, of course you didn’t, because you’re too worried about your new job.”
Brian sits there staring at me. The rage is boiling on the inside but he knows I’m right. He knows that one day I’m not going to need him and that’s when I finally see the little bit of fear in his eyes. He’s afraid I’m not going to need him and he despises that. I’ve come to learn that Brian has issues with people leaving him. His mother did it to him after his brother committed suicide when he was eleven, and now one day I won’t need him either.
He stands pushing the chair back with the backs of his knees. “Quit Layla, I’m not telling you again.”
I wait until he gets to the door. “Or what?”
He smirks at me and my body instantly covers with goose bumps. “Wait and see.”
After he leaves, slamming the door I reach in the freezer for the bag of peas. I wrap them up with a paper towel just as Fallon creeps out of our room. I sit on the couch and hold them up to my face hoping to ward off any bruising and swelling. Fallon crawls up next to me and softly cries. I don’t have any words for her, I can’t comfort her, can’t tell her everything will be okay, can’t tell her I’m okay because I’m not. I’ve finally given up. The fake smile I always wear fades away and the tears spill over.
“I can’t do this anymore.” I whisper to myself.
A few hours later I shuffle into the bathroom I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I look horrible. My eyes are red and swollen from crying, my lips are puffy, and you can see Brian’s handprint on my face. I get a closer look and spot the finger prints on my neck too.
I grab a hold of the sink and fight off the tears once again. I can’t go to work like this. People would talk, ask questions, questions I can’t and won’t answer. I do the only thing I can and call Eli.
“Fallon,” I call out. “Can you bring me my phone?”
I hear her little feet padding around in the living room. “Here you go.”
I take the phone and shut the bathroom door.
I dial Fierce and pray like hell that Eli doesn’t answer.
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
“Fierce, Eli speaking.”
Of course he’d answer the phone. “Um,” I clear my throat. “Eli, it’s Layla. I’ve come down with um… the stomach bug and I’m not going to make it in.” It’s all I could think of on the fly.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, just can’t seem to hold anything down.” I lie, hating myself for doing this.
“Okay, well I hope you feel better. I’ll call you later to check in on you.” He sounds a little hesitant but doesn’t ask anything else.
“Thanks, bye Eli.”
“Bye, Layla.”
Sitting on the edge of the tub I hang my head. I hate lying but I’d hate to see the pity—or the rage—in his eyes even more.
I just tucked Fallon into bed later that night, when my cell phone rings.
“Hey, Jay,” I answer on the fourth ring.
“How are you feeling?” Eli must have told her I wasn’t feeling well.
“Not any better.” I say reaching up and still feeling the welts on my face from earlier.
“Do you want me to stop by and keep you company for a little while? I could bring some soup and crackers over.”
“No,” I say a little too quickly and cringe. “I wouldn’t want you to catch this. It’s horrible.”
“Layla, stop it. If you need help I’ll come