strangle Selena.
“We’re um, he’s...um...” What was Eoghan? A friend...with benefits? Neither of them really defined what they were beyond their casual hookups and after-work drinks. They definitely weren’t serious. He was a nice guy, fun, easy to be around. He understood her lifestyle; they had common interests and goals. Could she see a real future with him? Did he leave her breathless and weak in the knees? Could she see him as the father of her future children? No to all of that. “There’s not a real spark,” she said finally.
Levi smiled, looking almost...relieved?
Her heart raced. “Hey, I’m sorry to have just disappeared...before.”
He nodded slowly.
“You understand why I did, right?”
“Sometimes I think I do. Other times, I’m not sure.”
“I didn’t really know what else to do. I was hurting and desperate to get away from that feeling, you know?”
“Did it work? Did you get away from it?” he asked, his blue eyes like waves crashing over her.
“No,” she said honestly. It wasn’t until that moment, with him, that she wasn’t constantly aware of the lingering pain and hurt.
“I wish you’d stayed. I was hurting too. And it would have been nice to have someone...” He shook his head. “To have you here.”
She swallowed hard and a long silence fell over them. Maybe she should have stayed, but she couldn’t change the past.
He sat forward and reached across the blanket, his hand slid toward hers and covered it gently. “Is this okay?”
Was it? She had no idea. She felt like they needed permission from someone who used to be important to both of them to be acting this way, giving in to feelings and attraction this way...but they’d never get it. Was it really okay to move on like this?
“I don’t know,” she said honestly.
Levi nodded and pulled back but she grabbed his hand and held tight. “But we won’t know unless we try, right?”
He tightened his grip on her hand and his gaze burned into hers.
And there was most definitely a spark.
* * *
THE NIGHT WAS ending too quickly, but Leslie’s yawn across from him told him she needed to get some sleep. The last few days had been emotionally draining on her and he knew he hadn’t made anything easier. He’d been relieved to see her relaxed for the first time that evening. He’d have to thank Selena for her idea. She may have saved his ass. He’d had no idea how to act around Leslie after their encounter in the shed, but this dinner had definitely helped to ease them back from going too far, too quickly.
Squeezing Leslie’s hand, he glanced at his watch. “I guess we should call it a night, huh?”
She looked disappointed to end their picnic, but nodded, suppressing another yawn. “Unfortunately, I think so. I can barely keep my eyes open,” she said, starting to pack up the leftover food from the picnic.
“No, don’t worry about all of this. I’ll clean up,” he said.
“You sure?”
“Positive.” He brought her hand to his lips and placed a soft kiss on her palm. There was so much more he wanted to do, to say...but they’d already crossed a line earlier that day, several actually, and he didn’t want to push her away by repeating the impulsivity.
And when his gaze lifted to hers and he saw the conflict in her expression, he reined in any emotion that might frighten her away or make her retreat. He’d already told her he loved her, he’d already put his heart on the line... He’d let her decide what happened next.
Releasing her hand, he unzipped the igloo and crawled out into the cold. The wind had picked up and the late night chill made him shiver as he held back the flap for her to exit.
“Brr...” she said, rubbing her arms for heat as she stood next to him. “Well, thank you for a nice evening.”
He nodded, hesitating before touching her cheek. She was so beautiful and he longed to tell her just how much. He wanted to hold her and kiss her and be with her in every way. But he wasn’t crazy enough to think that this connection between them would be enough for her to leave everything in the past and move forward.
His own guilt was overwhelming—not only had he been intimate with Leslie on a physical level, but their date had meant so much to him as well and he had no right to be with her like this. She’d always been his best friend’s girl, not his.