a different feeling entirely. An unsettling connection simmered around them as his hand lingered on her face. She stared at Levi, questioning his action, questioning his motive... Was he once again just trying to get her to open up as a friend? Or was there something more going on between them? Her body’s reaction to him in recent days was definitely something she couldn’t pretend wasn’t happening. And if things were just friendly between them, why was the urge to kiss him so strong?
Was he simply trying to be there for her or was he feeling this attraction too?
Neither was what she needed right now.
She shook her head and stepped quickly away from his touch, stumbling over a charred log. “You need to stop with these mixed signals,” she said and winced. Damn, why had she said that? Why open up this conversation at all?
“Me?” He looked genuinely confused. “Mixed signals?”
“Yes. You rejected me the other night in the hotel room and then you keep sending these...vibes... I don’t know.” Jesus, Leslie, just stop talking. Let the subject drop.
“I didn’t reject you. I put the brakes on before you did something you’d regret.” His tone was defensive and frustrated as though he were tired of protecting her.
Well, she hadn’t asked him to. “I’m a grown-ass woman, Levi. You don’t need to protect me from myself,” she said, her annoyance rising. He’d always taken on that role of protector, always looking out for her and Dawson, whether they needed him to or not. He’d assumed a big brother position in the group, keeping them all on the straight and narrow. And while she might be at the mercy of accepting his help with Selena, she didn’t need him acting like a martyr regarding her feelings.
He ran a hand through his hair and looked almost defeated as he said, “Maybe it wasn’t you I was protecting. Maybe I was looking out for myself.”
Her pulse raced through her veins as she stared at him. “What are you talking about?” He’d been completely in the driver’s seat. Manipulating her feelings until she broke, then pushing her away when she’d given in to the desire of wanting him.
“Damn it, Leslie.” His voice rose slightly and he stared at her like she was completely obtuse. “Maybe I didn’t want to have sex with the woman I’ve been in love with my entire life while her mind and heart are still with my best friend.” The raw frustration in his voice was something she’d never heard directed at her before. Things between them had always been light, friendly, caring. He’d never sounded so completely destroyed before—and yet, he’d said love.
Shock made her completely numb to the cold wind and their devastating surroundings as she struggled to process what he’d just said. “Love?” Had he really said he was in love with her, not simply that he loved her, which would have been a reason for not having sex with her that she could have understood. But, in love? That made no sense at all. Since when? Why? What the hell was happening?
“Yeah,” he said with a sigh. “Love. I love you. I always have.”
So the attraction between them was real, but it went deeper than just a physical lust. At least on his end. She knew her feelings about him were different in the last few days, but she couldn’t pin them down. Stress and exhaustion were taking their toll and there was a lot at stake. She was fighting nostalgia and heartache and her defenses were down... But there was no way she was in love with Levi. He was her friend. Dawson’s friend.
They couldn’t be in love.
“Look, I know the timing on this confession isn’t great, and I already regret telling you...”
Why did that sting? She wished she didn’t know, that he hadn’t told her. It just confused and complicated the hell out of things even more. Yet, his regret was worse.
“That came out wrong,” he said, reading her expression correctly. “I just meant, I know you have a lot to deal with right now and adding more to it wasn’t my...”
“Intent,” she finished, her tone distant, cold. All his good intentions could go to hell. She didn’t need him to help her feel something again. She was desperately trying not to feel anything at all because if she opened herself up to one emotion, they’d all spiral right out of her control and she couldn’t lose that right now.
“Leslie, I’m sorry I told you.