as he felt himself grow thick. What the hell was he supposed to do? He never wanted to stop kissing her. This was a moment he’d only fantasized about, but right now he couldn’t enjoy it when he had no idea what was fueling it. She was upset and stressed and obviously needing someone. But just anyone?
He couldn’t be that guy. He was the last one who could ever be that guy for her. He loved her too much to be just an impulsive act—one she’d regret, one that would just push them even further apart.
Leslie’s hands reached for the button on his jeans and it took all his willpower to stop her.
“Leslie...” He grabbed her hands and held tight.
She shook her head. “I don’t want to talk.”
Damn. Obviously not, but could he actually do this? Be with her? Give in to what he’d always wanted? Turn his brain off and go with the way his body was craving her? Even if it was only one time. Right here and now?
No. He knew her actions were coming from her overwhelming sadness and grief and he didn’t want to take advantage of that. They needed to talk. He had no idea how much he was willing to tell her right now, but they couldn’t jump from no contact in years, both still struggling to move past the hurt, to getting physical in a moment of emotional stress.
“Leslie, I want you.” There was no denying that. She’d already seen it on his face, felt it in his touch, saw the evidence in the bulge in his pants. “But not like this.” He squeezed her hands and released a deep breath.
She blinked and yanked her hands away. Climbing off him quickly, she looked around the room as though unsure where she was or how she’d gotten there. Her hand flew to her lips, glossy and pink from their kisses. “Shit,” she muttered.
He stood quickly and walked toward her. “Hey... Let’s sit and talk.”
She shook her head. “No... That was...um.” Her gaze took in his shirtless state and her cheeks flamed red. “No. I don’t even know. Oh my God.” She turned in a circle as though looking for an exit, somehow not seeing the hotel room door right in front of her. She took a strangled-sounding breath and pressed a hand to her chest.
She was freaking out. Great. Remorse, regret, he’d expected that, but she was completely unraveling. “Look, you weren’t wrong to... You read the situation correctly,” he said, unsure how to make her feel better about her actions. She didn’t need to feel embarrassed. He needed her to know that he’d wanted to kiss her just as badly. He wanted her.
She scoffed. “This is insane. I have no idea what came over me.” She ran a hand over her hair and when her gaze landed on his bare body once again, she made a beeline toward the door.
“Wait...please. Don’t run away. Let’s talk,” he said.
She kept going. “There’s nothing to talk about.” She reached for the door handle, then swung back, anger the only emotion on her face now. “You’re something else, you know that? You poke and poke until you find the crack you’re looking for, then you act all valiant when I finally break. Well, screw you, Levi. I was fine before I got back here and I’ll be fine again. I don’t need you to try to help me in whatever twisted way you think you can.” She opened the door.
Damn, she had this whole situation all wrong. He hurried after her, refusing to let her go believing that he’d had some secret agenda or a goal of hurting her. “Listen, I’m sorry. I just wanted you to open up to me. Let me in...”
“So you could reject me?”
What the hell? “That’s not what’s happening.” Not even close. He just knew her advances weren’t real. Not about him. It was all frustration and a need to take the edge off the intense emotions she’d been roller-coastering through the last few days. Anyone would seek any sort of release after the shit she’d been through so far that week.
“It doesn’t matter. Nothing’s happening between us.”
Not even a rekindled friendship. He heard her loud and clear.
“Bye, Levi.” She left the room, letting the door close behind her.
Once again, leaving him to stare after her, more conflicted than ever.
CHAPTER NINE
WHAT A NIGHTMARE. Only Leslie wasn’t sleeping. Hadn’t slept a wink since her embarrassing encounter with Levi the night before. How had