through the rain past the tall monument statues and to the modest plot in the back where my brother is buried. I drop to my knees in front of his gravestone and run my fingers over his name etched into the granite.
I’ve been wishing for a way to clear his name, and now I have the opportunity.
Brogan didn’t die because my brother was mixed up in drugs again. He died because some irresponsible college kid drank too much and got behind the wheel. Such a cliché. Such an old story.
Rain and tears mix to blur my vision, but I don’t feel like I’ve been able to see clearly since the day I met Arrow. As much as I miss my brother and want to bring him back, as much as I wanted someone to blame for the horrible thing that happened to him, and as much as Arrow’s story leaves little doubt as to who’s responsible for everything we lost that night, Nic was the fucking idiot throwing punches in the middle of the road on a pitch-black night.
“I can set the record straight,” I tell my brother’s grave, but I can’t hear myself over the pounding of the rain on the gravestones around me. “You worked so hard to stay clean, and they should know. But if I do that, I’m choosing your reputation over Arrow’s life.”
Is it any wonder Arrow spun out of control the way he did? This is a man who’s always done the right thing, and Coach cornered him into keeping a secret he didn’t want to keep about a horrible thing he can’t even remember doing.
Nic never gave a shit about his reputation. That was me. My pride. My insistence on the world knowing my brother wasn’t the scum they believe he was. I know without a doubt Nic could forgive me for staying quiet. He understood secrets better than most. But why does that have to be a choice?
I’m drenched, and I stand with every intention of going to my car and driving to Bailey’s apartment to get a hot shower. Instead, I find myself at Brogan’s grave. Yellow barriers surround the fresh mound of dirt, and being blocked from his grave breaks something inside me. It’s just all too much.
Brogan would know what to do. He was my voice of reason. I just wish he were here to tell me what I’m supposed to do next.
Arrow
“I think Crowe’s gonna be good,” Chris says between bites of pizza. He and Mason showed up a few hours ago and they’ve been here ever since, making themselves at home and unknowingly distracting me from obsessing over Mia. Not that it’s working, but it’s better than being alone.
“You could paint a thunderstorm with sunshine and rainbows,” Mason says.
I’ve only been half paying attention, and I look up. I don’t want to hear them fighting over whether or not my replacement is good enough.
The rain’s still coming down, and thunder claps over the house. Out the window, a zigzag of orange cracks open the middle of a gray-black sky.
“You guys, will you go?”
They both stop talking and look at me.
“What?” Mason asks.
“We’ll get out of your hair,” Chris says.
I shake my head. “It’s not that. I want you to go find Mia.” I look out at the rain again, the weariness in my gut growing. “I just need to know she’s okay. Don’t tell her I sent you.”
“Yeah,” Mason says.
“Of course,” Chris agrees, pushing his plate aside and standing.
“Anywhere we should look?” Mason asks.
“We’ll start at her dad’s trailer,” Chris says. “I bet she’s there.”
“Then we’ll go to Bailey’s,” Mason says.
“Of course you want to go there,” Chris says.
“Fuck you, I’m trying to help.”
I hold up a hand. “Stop. Start at the cemetery.” Another clap of thunder booms over the house, and suddenly I know without a doubt that’s where she is. Bailey was telling the truth about her not being there. Mia wouldn’t have wanted to face her dad while she was so upset. And the police would have been here by now if she’d gone to the station. Should I be grateful that she didn’t? But if she doesn’t, we’re both trapped in the hell of knowing this horrible secret. “Start there,” I say. “If she’s outside, talk her into getting out of the rain. But if she’s not there and you find her safe inside somewhere, leave her alone. All I want is to know she’s okay.”
“Yeah,” Mason says. “We’ll let you know what