the other in the back. My toes and fingers curl around the edges. It’s second nature and what I know best. It centers me.
Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Eyes on the water. Focus.
My muscles are ready, exploding when Jace whistles and I push off the cold material, airborne before diving into the pool. The water welcomes me like the home it is, whooshing around my body.
We get into our sequence, routine and muscle memory taking over, making my focus razor sharp.
Pull. Breathe. Kick. Glide.
Repeat.
Repeat.
Repeat.
I push my body, even though I’ve been running drills all day long and I’m exhausted. But it’s what I need right now. It’s the only thing that helps me sleep at night. If I don’t completely exert myself, I lie awake for hours, wondering about Harper and the baby. About what happened. About our future. Then I get so worked up that I don’t get any shut-eye.
During the second lap, I gain on Jace. He’s ridiculously gifted in the water, if not one of the best, but breaststroke is mine. Always has been, and I’m trying my damnedest to keep it mine until I retire for good next year after the Olympics.
I want to break the current world record one more time. I’ve done it before and I’m determined to utilize my strength to win it.
I tap out at the wall and turn to the side in time to see Jace tap out a few seconds later. He rips off his goggles and cap, his breathing rapid and harsh. He throws himself on the divider between us and shakes his head.
“I don’t know how you do it. I train and push, but I can’t make this stroke my bitch. It’s frustrating.”
“That’s how I feel about you and your butterfly.”
He shrugs and nods. “I guess.”
“Nobody’s perfect.”
I bump the fist he holds out, and he chuckles.
But even though I’m smiling, it’s another face I’m imagining. As I have done multiple times over the last few days.
A different conversation. A different outcome.
And a very hurt Harper. I’m sorry I’m not perfect. Just leave like everyone else does. The way she looked at me when she said those words. It was like a knife straight into my heart. But my pride loomed over everything else that moment and I pulled back.
I didn’t even let her explain. But I was butt-hurt. And at that moment I wanted her to feel hurt too. Like I had when I found out about her dad. I was completely blindsided, and that probably shocked me more than anything. Once I started thinking back over our conversations, it was easy to see that she’d been dodging my questions about her dad. I just didn’t realize it.
Now, we’re both hurting.
I was planning on talking to Coach this afternoon for some more time off so I can fly back to New York, but I forgot he wasn’t going to be here. But I need to see Harper. I can’t have this conversation over the phone or with a screen between us.
But we should be able to work this out between us, right? She said she fell for me, that doesn’t simply go away that quickly. At least not for me. Quite the contrary. My feelings for her are only getting stronger, digging deeper into my heart. In fact, I know without a shadow of a doubt. I’ve already fallen.
An hour later we’re at our favorite Italian restaurant, and I’m on a mission. Because whereas Harper hasn’t been very truthful about her dad, I haven’t been exactly forthcoming with my family and friends either.
I’d wanted to wait until after the first trimester screening and was planning on telling my family once I got back from New York. But then I was in such a terrible mood, and that conversation wouldn’t have ended well. More drama and chaos is the last thing I need at this point.
But something in me urges me to tell my friends. For some reason, it’s easier to tell people who I’m close with but who won’t be as emotionally involved as my family.
I’ve been friends with the guys for years. They’ve always had my back. Noah knows already, of course, but I know he hasn’t told anyone.
It’s been a few weeks since we’ve been together. Noah’s been helping his sister, Daisy, who’s going through a divorce. Hunter’s been busy with his family too, picking up more uncle duties since one of his siblings had a new baby. And Jace has started dating a bikini