at this way-too-early hour. I want to talk to her but also have to get ready. Her tone is gentle, like she's afraid she'll spook me. I’m not that bad, am I? Does everyone think I’m a nutcase that will lose it at any moment?
"Yes." It's a rash decision but one that feels right. I still haven't told either of my parents about Ryan or the baby, but maybe it's time. I can't keep it a secret forever, and feelings will probably get hurt the longer I wait.
After this appointment, I'll come clean. I have to. But I have to know first if everything’s okay with my little one.
"Do you love him?" Her words are a whisper, and I almost drop my eyebrow pencil.
"Uh." I stare at my wide eyes in the mirror.
Do I love him? That's a loaded question.
“How long have you known him?” She keeps going like she didn’t just throw that bomb at me.
“Two and a half months.”
“That can be quite some time to get to know someone, especially if you spend a lot of time together.”
“That’s true.” And isn’t that exactly what I’ve been doing? Getting to know him better? We haven’t seen much of each other since we’ve met, but once we started communicating, we’ve been either texting or talking daily. I can’t even remember the last time I’ve talked this much to anyone.
We haven’t been together again—which I think has allowed us to get to know each other better without lust thrown in as a distraction—but I think the night we met is a testimony to our mutual attraction. Our physical connection is certainly off the charts, and Ryan knows what to do with a woman’s body, and he does it very well.
My body warms at the thought of him. But it’s not only his body that gets me going. He’s an incredibly genuine and caring guy. Then there’s also the way he checks on me to make sure I’m okay. When he goes on his weekly grocery run to find the fruit that correctly showcases our baby’s current size so he can send me a cheeky selfie with it.
And the way he makes me laugh when we talk. The way his voice turned all gentle when he told me I’m beautiful after I mentioned I didn’t fit in my jeans anymore.
All in all, he’s one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met. Not everyone would have reacted so well when I broke the news to him.
And you’re still lying to him.
Crap. I only need to get through this appointment first. I don’t want this to stand between us any longer, because there’s already enough to worry about without that breathing down my neck. Now that he knows me better, will it really be a problem? I mean, he said his relationship with his coach is much stronger now, so it should be fine. I think.
“Sweetie. Are you still there?”
“Yes. Sorry, Mom. Just lost in thought.”
“It’s okay. Have you found your answer, then?”
My hand goes up to my chest, resting on my pounding heart. “I think I have, Mom.”
I’ve fallen in love with Ryan Monroe.
My mom’s bell-like chuckle sounds through the room like music. “I can’t wait to hear more about him when you have time for a longer phone call. I’m so happy for you, Harper.”
I’m not sure how she knows, but she knows. Maybe it’s because it’s been just the two of us for so long, and we know each other inside and out. Just like I can tell when she’s happy or sad on the phone, she can do the same with me.
“Thanks, Mom.” A weight pushes on my chest, and I lean back against the wall and close my eyes. “I miss you.”
“I miss you too, sweetie. Do you need us to come back earlier?”
I shake my head, still trying to blink away my emotions. “No, you will not leave this amazing adventure because of me. I’ll be okay, I promise. And I don’t want you to worry about me. You deserve this, Mom. More than anyone else I know.”
“Nothing is more important than you, you know that. You say the word, and we’ll be on the next flight home.” There’s a bite in her tone that wasn’t there before, and it’s what pushes me over the edge. My mom has always been my champion, my rock. It feels . . . wrong to experience these first few months of pregnancy without her.
A single tear rolls down my cheek, then