vicious eraser marks most of us turned in. Tracy had to write out her problems on a separate piece of paper, get them perfect, then rewrite them onto her assignment for class. It seemed like a lot of extra work just for appearance’s sake, but I had to admit her paper looked more presentable than mine.
“What’s up?”
“You ever ask out a guy?”
She pushed her book away, leaning in a little over her crossed legs. We’d spread our books out on the bed since my desk was only big enough for one and I obviously couldn’t go to the library.
“This should be good. Do you have a guy you want to ask out?” She grinned. “It’s not your secret admirer, is it?”
“Maybe…”
“You figured out who it was? How?” She bounced a little. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I just figured it out recently, and um…” I didn’t want to get into my embarrassing downward spiral after Ace had left Friday night. The moment the door had closed behind him, I’d thrown myself onto my bed and tried to smother myself with my pillow.
Dre, being the sympathetic roommate that he was, had laughed. “Dude, what was that train wreck? Are you high on something?”
“No,” I’d mumbled into my pillow. “I’m low. So fucking low.”
Since then, I’d done my best to avoid encounters with Ace. He often dropped by my room for lunch, so I made sure to be elsewhere. I answered his texts just enough to pretend everything was fine. But I couldn’t keep doing that indefinitely.
Which was why I needed to ask out Jonas. Once I was dating someone else, my feelings for Ace would simmer down to a manageable level. Then, maybe, I could find a way to be the friend he thought I was.
“So?” Tracy prompted. “Who is it?”
“Jonas.”
She nodded, looking thoughtful. “He’s one of the frat boys, right?”
“Yeah. I tried what you said, did some flirting.”
“Yeah, and he told you?”
“Not exactly.” I filled her in on showing him my sketches, then the sketchpad appearing with the note about art. “So, it seems pretty obvious. He flirted back. He asked for my number. And then I got the gift, so…”
“What now?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. How do I…? I can’t just walk up and say, ‘Hey, I have a secret admirer and I think it’s you.’ But I’ve never asked anyone out.”
“Oh, so you’ve always been the pursued, huh?” she teased with a grin. “Lucky boy.”
I snorted. “Not really. Unless you count Kaleb, who stood me up, or Ace, but—” I stopped abruptly.
“Ace?”
“That wasn’t a real date,” I said hurriedly.
“So, you had a not-real date with Ace,” she mused. “Interesting.”
I sighed theatrically. “Do you have any advice or are you just gonna push my buttons all night?”
She smiled. “You’re so easy to tease, but I suppose I do have one piece of advice.”
“I’m listening.”
“When I want to ask a guy out…”
“Yeah?” I leaned forward as she drew out the pause.
“I find it helpful to ask.”
“Ask.”
“Yep.” She grinned as if she wasn’t the most annoying person on the planet. “Just man up and ask, Benji. What’s the worst that can happen?”
“Uh, he’ll say no, and I’ll feel like an idiot?”
“Exactly! You’re not in love with Jonas, are you?”
I sputtered. “No, of course not!”
“Your life won’t fall apart without him?”
I scoffed. “I barely know him.”
“Well, there you have it. If he says no, you’ll move on without much difficulty.”
My stomach squirmed with nerves. “I guess that’s true.”
“And he might say yes,” Tracy added. “Since he flirted, asked for your number, and might very well be your secret admirer, I’d say the odds are good.”
I wasn’t sure what prospect made me more nervous: that Jonas would say no, or that he’d say yes. But I needed to make a move, if only to dull the ache I had for Ace.
“So, are you going to do it?” Tracy asked.
Taking a deep breath, I picked up my phone. “Yeah. Yeah, what have I got to lose?”
She smiled. “That’s the spirit.”
I shot off a quick text before I could overthink it.
Want to hang out this weekend?
With any luck, Jonas would sweep me off my feet, and Ace and I could pretend like that travesty of a kiss never happened.
Ace
On my work break Thursday night, I painstakingly browsed a selection of threads at the craft store down the block. I’d decided to make Benji a friendship bracelet — if my big, clumsy hands would cooperate.
And if I could get up the nerve to come clean with him.
Once