shrugged and said, “What are you hungry for? I can throw some meat on the grill.”
“Zevy…?” she said, wondering why he was avoiding the question.
He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck.
“That’s not going to sidetrack me, even if I enjoy it. If the reason is private, you don’t have to tell me.”
“It’s not private. I just didn’t want to think about it. For some weird reason, Graham’s old-fashioned. He sends postcards because he thinks it makes every place I go feel like home.”
That didn’t surprise her. The Bradens were always watching out for each other. “Did it?”
“No, but I like getting mail from him. It gives me something to look forward to, but nothing feels like home. You’ve always been missing.” He kissed the bridge of her nose and said, “Right now this kitchen feels like home, and before this the sleeping porch felt like home, and the shower, and Silk Hollow.”
She melted a little at the sweetness of his words and the warmth in his voice, wishing she’d never snuck away in Mexico. Maybe they would have made up sooner, had a family, and built a life together. But those were dangerous thoughts that could only bring sadness for the years they’d lost, so she forced them away, concentrating instead on the gift they’d been given and not whether it would last for six days, six years, or an eternity. They had now, and that was wonderful.
“I speak the truth, even if it sounds cheesy,” he said. “But I think Graham sends postcards more for his peace of mind than anything else. I think he likes being able to pinpoint my whereabouts to be sure he could find me pretty quickly if he needed to.”
“That makes sense, but it also makes sense that Graham would want to help you feel less alone.” She picked up the card that said Jilly was losing her mind and waved it. “Although it looks like he gave you a hard time from afar, too.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, you know that Braden family creed? Family knows no boundaries? Well, that goes for every aspect of our lives. But I deserved it. There were times when I couldn’t take the reminders that being home brought, so I just went radio silent. It wasn’t fair to my family, but survival instincts are pretty tough to fight.”
“I went through that for a while,” she admitted.
“Yeah, it sucked. There were so many times that I wanted to come back and see if you and I could work things out. But I was afraid of screwing you up even more.”
Even though she wouldn’t wish suffering on anyone, there was something cathartic about hearing that he’d struggled in order to stay away and allow her to heal. He was still the same big-hearted Zev he’d always been, but even that brought questions. She didn’t want to take away from their easy conversation, so she asked her question playfully.
She ran her finger down his chest and said, “Then why did you just fuck my brains out?”
“Careful, babe, or your dirty mouth will get us in trouble again.”
“Good to know. That skill might come in handy later. But I’m serious. What changed your mind about screwing me up?”
“I didn’t know you were going to be at the wedding. Nobody warned me. I didn’t even know you and Char were friends.” He shrugged, but the depth of emotion in his eyes told her the answer he was about to give wasn’t cavalier. “Once I saw you, I didn’t have a choice. There was no turning back. If you’d shut me down, or if I’d seen hate in your eyes instead of what we both know we have, then maybe I would have tried to walk away. But I can’t even say I would have done it, because I feel like this is where we’re supposed to be. I know you’re not ready to commit to anything more than this week, and I get that. I don’t blame you. I know I need to earn back your trust on all levels, not just in the bedroom, and only you can decide if and when you’ll ever be ready to risk your heart again. But I know where mine stands, Carly, and that’s in your hands. It always has been.”
She was glad that he wasn’t brushing their past under the carpet even though she’d said she didn’t want to dwell on it. “Thank you for understanding. I know I have to earn back