was just too much, too sad. I didn’t want to do that to you because nothing could change the outcome. Nothing good could have come from it.”
“I could have been there to help you through it. I would have come back. You shouldn’t have had to go through that alone.”
The regret and sincerity in his voice told her it was true. He would have come back. She believed that now with her whole heart, but it didn’t change what she believed then. She pushed from his arms as more hurtful truths spilled out. “How could I have known that? You’d let me suffer alone before.”
Anguish rose in his eyes. “I thought I was saving you from more heartache when I left. I fucked up. I get it, and I will forever regret it. But tonight, when I told you that I knew in Mexico I had made a mistake and I wanted to try again, I meant it. You don’t have to believe me when I say I would have come back, and I don’t blame you for not trusting me to be there for you back then. I’m a lot of things, Carly, and I’ve made big mistakes in my life, but I have never lied to you.”
Their painful past swept in like a vulture, digging its talons in. She lifted her chin as fresh tears slid down her cheeks and said, “You once told me you’d love me forever.”
“That was not a lie,” he said adamantly. “I have loved you since we were kids, and I will love you until the day I die. I have never felt anything even remotely close to what I feel for you for anyone else.” His chest rose with his deep inhalation, anguish rising in his eyes, as real as the ground beneath his feet. “How could I, when I left my heart in your hands? I have nothing left to give. Except to you, Carly. Only to you.”
Years of heartache from feeling lost, from convincing herself he didn’t love her, telling herself she hated him for leaving when her love had never dimmed, crashed over her, drawing fresh sobs.
“I’m sorry,” he choked out. “Damn it, Carls. I’m so fucking sorry.”
He gathered her in his arms, and she went willingly, burying her face in his chest as her tears fell.
He kissed her forehead, holding her tighter. “I wish I’d done things differently. I wish so many things. God, can you ever forgive me?” He stroked her back, whispering apologies, the sorrow in his voice drawing more tears. “I’m sorry for how I left, for not coming back for you, for Mexico, for the baby we lost…the years we lost.”
His heartfelt words went on and on as they stood beneath the stars, letting it all go. He didn’t rush her, didn’t make her feel bad for falling apart, because he was falling apart, too, pouring his heart out in supportive, loving words. She had no idea how long they stood there, but he held her until he had no more words to say and she had no more tears to cry.
Eventually they threw out the wine bottle and made their way back to the blanket. Zev kept his arm around her. Even after everything they’d gone through, he still felt more like home than any person, place, or thing, ever had.
He kept her close when they sat on the blanket, running his hand down her back, threading his fingers through her hair, and kissing her temple, all the while apologizing and making promises in the dark—not to hurt her again, to make it up to her, to earn her forgiveness. Every word healed an ache, filled an empty spot. When they fell silent, letting the cool evening air wash away all the years of sadness, Carly realized why she’d never told anyone close to her about being with Zev in Mexico, or about the pregnancy. Zev was the only one she needed to tell. He was the salve to her wounds, the love that filled her lonely heart.
He was the only person who could make her feel whole again.
He brushed his lips over her temple and said, “I feel like I’ve been gutted, learning about what you went through after Mexico, and I’m sure what I’m feeling isn’t even half as awful as it was for you when it happened. I wish I could take all your pain away.”
“You are taking it away.” She rested her head on his shoulder and closed her