horses gave me something to focus on and a physical outlet for some of my frustrations. Therapy gave me the tools and knowledge I needed to heal, and the Whiskeys gave me a family of friends, which I desperately needed for a hundred different reasons.”
“I’m so glad you had them,” Zev said as they made their way up a steep incline. “But now I feel like a dick for wanting to kill Cowboy.”
She laughed softly.
“Seriously, though, I’m glad you have people who have your back. Is Wynnie the therapist you mentioned last night?”
“Yes. I told her about us, and she’s the only person besides you who knows about Mexico and the miscarriage. She helped me realize that so much had happened all at once with losing Tory and our breakup that I had never fully grieved losing either of you. Then leaving you the way I did in Mexico and the miscarriage just piled on guilt and more grief.”
She stopped walking and faced him as things became clearer to her. “Zevy, I grieved for all of those losses a long time ago. I think most of last night’s tears were from finally being able to get it all out to the right person. Some were also for you, since it was the first you’d heard about the pregnancy. But I’m sorry I yelled and that I shoved you. I didn’t realize how much was trapped inside me until it started coming out like Mount Saint Helens.”
He smiled, but it wasn’t a humorous smile; it was a thoughtful one, the type that urged her to hear his next words. “I’m sorry, too. My anger wasn’t directed at you. It was all at me, but I never should have raised my voice.”
“I know it was hard for both of us, but I’m glad we got it out. I feel better than I have in a long time.”
“I do, too, but I’ll always regret hurting you.”
“Then we’re even, because of the way I left you in Mexico. But I’m not still grieving those things. It’s all in the past. Now I know why you left, and you know why I left in Mexico. Wynnie, Marie, and the Whiskeys showed me I could move on, and I know we can, too. I really want to put all that behind us and enjoy this time together.”
“I’d like nothing more,” he said softly, as if it took a lot to get the words out.
As another weight lifted from her shoulders, their eyes locked, turning that relief to something much hotter. His chest expanded with a deep inhalation, his muscles cording with restraint. It was good to know she wasn’t treading alone in the well of their desires. She wanted to bridge the gap, to seal their words with a kiss, but she knew where that would lead, and she wasn’t quite ready for that just yet. He must have seen that in her eyes, because without a word, he took a step, bringing her with him along the trail. Thank you, Zevy.
“I’m trying here, Carls,” he said, holding her hand tight as a vise. “But you better talk before I give in and kiss you.”
She wrestled with the desire to lean in and kiss him, but before she could make up her mind, he looked at her out of the corner of his eye and said, “You’re making this very hard.”
A giggle bubbled out, breaking her spell.
“If you don’t start talking, we’re not going to make it to the cliffs. I’ll haul your gorgeous ass over my shoulder and carry you off to a cave.”
“Oh my…That does not sound so bad.”
“Carls,” he growled, making her laugh again. “As much as I want you, I’m not doing that to us. I won’t do anything that you might regret later. Please, cut me a break and talk about something that can’t be taken sexually.”
“That’s hard to do with you.”
He glared at her. She realized what she’d said and laughed hysterically, earning more stern looks, which only made her laugh harder.
“I’m sorry,” she said, trying to tamp down her laughter, scrambling for something to talk about. “Okay. Let’s see. I told you I never finished college, but I went back to school to become a chocolatier, and it was a good thing, because a few years ago my aunt sold her house and most of her belongings, packed a couple of suitcases, and said she was going off to see the world.” She noticed his grip on her hand