on our team, and we’ve got to choose two of our men to go play pattycake on their Quiz Bowl team.”
Bubba chuckled. “You oughta send me, Rand. Serve the fuckers right.” It was kind of sad that no one had a lower opinion of Bubba’s intelligence than Bubba.
“So right,” PJ yelled, and the whole place went nuts, laughing and agreeing with Bubba.
Bubba loved getting laughs, and he said, “Right and send Pizzaz too. If they have questions about alcohol or pharmaceuticals, he’ll ace it.”
Most of the guys howled at that, but Pizzaz had some trouble making the smile reach his eyes.
Rand held up a hand. He looked uneasy, and I knew what was coming. “We have to send them our smartest guys, and they have to send us their best athletes.”
DeWan scoffed, “How’s the dean going to know whether we picked dumb guys by accident or sabotaged the nerds on purpose?”
Rand shifted in his chair and glanced at Tray and then at me. “We can’t let them make us look dumb. We have to beat them at their own game. You get that, right? Besides we, uh, kind of made a side bet that our guys’ll do better at Quiz Bowl than theirs will at flag. It’s a matter of house pride.”
“Yeah, and half the campus has already laid bets!” PJ said smugly. “Cha-ching!”
“Well, that’s bullshit,” said DeWan.
The noise level rose exponentially with half the guys sure we could beat the Poins and half agreeing with DeWan. Tray jumped up. “Look, we had to be sure they weren’t going to send us guys that trip over their own dicks. Hell, it’s too important to the team. This way, they have a lot to gain by picking the best they’ve got.”
PJ snorted. “Right, and we have everything to lose if we don’t do the same.”
Tray sat down slowly. Somewhere between the confrontation on the quad and this meeting, he must have finally got that we were getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop. But he was right, the bet did give both houses motivation not to sabotage the other team.
I shifted in my seat and glanced at my watch. Yeah, this was important, and obviously, I didn’t want my chapter disbanded, but it also didn‘t have much to do with me. I wasn’t a regular on the flag team because of my Badgers football schedule, so the other guys could battle that out with the SMTs. I just wanted to go up and study.
Rand leaned forward, and they quieted down again. Force of personality, man. He said, “Let’s get down to business. We need two of our brightest guys to join the SMT’s Quiz Bowl teams.”
The grousing volume increased, but nobody said one useful thing. I didn’t usually speak much in meetings. Hell, I didn’t speak much period. But I said, “It’s not just about brains. It’s about information and tons of knowledge on a lot of subjects.”
Tray scowled. “Bunch of fucking Jeopardy nerds.”
I nodded. “Actually, that’s kind of true. A lot of Quiz Bowl contestants go on Jeopardy and later end up running Quiz Bowl events.” All the eyeballs in the room pointed at me. I shrugged and stared at my feet. “Or so I heard.”
Bubba said, “Hey, how do you know that, Jesse?”
I shook my head. “When I heard we had to do this, I looked it up.” No way I’d admit I’d watched it online.
Rand called the question. “Who have we got?” He grinned. “Come on, some of you guys are full of it—useless information, that is.”
One of the guys called out, “So we need two contestants?”
Rand nodded.
Hell, somebody had to tell them. I said, “There’re two divisions, one harder than the other. I gather the Poins have a team in each division.” I wiped a hand over the back of my neck. “But that means we’re sending one guy into fucking egghead central.” I stared into space. “I heard some of those questions on a video, and I’ll be honest, I don’t know how we’ll do it.” I glanced up at a sea of wide eyes and serious faces. “I’m just saying—it looks challenging.”
Bubba’s voice summed it up for the room. “Ten fucking thousand, man.”
PJ sneered, “Oh come on, how hard can it be? Those assholes don’t have more smarts than us. They just act like they do. It’s all a front.”
“They’ve got less muscles.” Bubba laughed and flexed his huge biceps.
Rand raised an eyebrow. “So how about you, PJ? You’re as smart as they are, right?