side, we get to see a bit more of the divine Jennifer and her sorority sisters than they might have planned due to the popcorn incident.” He ogled the ALA lawn where a few of their dates were clutching sweaters and coats over underwear. Felix appreciated anything female.
"Okay… but burning popcorn shouldn't start a fire," I said.
"It turns out that when you set the microwave timer for thirty minutes, and it's an old and crappy one, it actually does start a fire," said Sai. His tone held an obnoxious glee that was totally inappropriate given the potential repercussions of the situation.
Then again, Sai Howard was often inappropriate. He was slender, had a bit of a slouch, black floppy hair, and glasses. Sai had zero social skills, but we put up with him because he was a fucking god at Quiz Bowl. Hence his nickname Sai-ber Attack.
"It's not our fault that no one in their house bothered to check on the noxious fumes coming out of the kitchen," groused Billings. "Like, imma just ignore that the house reeks like fried ass. Who does that?"
Johnson nodded adamantly. "Right? And apparently their smoke alarm was busted. That's not our fault either."
Despite their bravado, I could tell they were worried.
My gaze went back to Jax, who was still looking across at all the emergency vehicles, hugging himself now. He was protective of Sigma Mu Tau and our reputation. Every line of his body looked tense. We were already on probation after the infamous Dog Poop Incident in September.
That one? That one had definitely been our fault.
Billings stepped closer to me and spoke low. "How bad do you think it'll be, Dobbs?"
"Uh…depends on how much damage was done to the house. And if anyone was hurt." I eyed the ambulance across the way. It was hard to tell because of the angle, but it looked like a guy was sitting on the ground behind it, blanket over his shoulders, maybe being given oxygen? Crap.
"Look at the bright side!" Sai chortled. "The A-hoes won't host a date night for a while! Ha ha!"
Yeah, no. Read the room, Sai.
"Everyone just chill. They'll probably think it was one of their guys who started the popcorn," Felix said.
"That would be fortunate," I agreed. "Though I'm sure the cops'll try to find the guy."
"Just because no one fesses up, that doesn't mean they didn't do it," reasoned Felix. "I mean, if we just keep our mouths shut—"
"Uh, guys? We might have been seen sneaking around the side of their house after we started the popcorn," Billings admitted sheepishly. "Two A-hoes came walking out their front door just as we went past. We ran. But they shouted at us. So."
I groaned. "Are you kidding me? Are you trying to get us all expelled?"
"A-plus on the ninja skills." Felix rolled his eyes.
Johnson looked miserable. "We can't get expelled. Our folks will kill us." He and Billings looked at me pleadingly.
They wanted reassurance. And as the Sigma Mu Tau Membership Coordinator, they wanted me to give it to them. I could do that. "Hey, as Grammy Dobson always said, There's no use anticipating trouble. I'm sure it'll be fine."
I didn't tell them that the rest of Grammy Dobson's saying was, ’Cause it'll hit you in the balls from outta the blue more times than not."
As it turned out, the punishment that rained down on us was not expulsion. No, it was much, much worse.
Jesse
Jesus. Hacking up a lung. “Ow!”
I stepped back into the same attack holly bush I’d run into twice already, but the lawn of the ALA house was so crowded with people, it was hard to avoid. My too-thin-for-January-in-Wisconsin sleep pants now sported a rip while I was suffering a serious shrinkage factor.
Who the fuck set our house on fire?
Firefighters in bright-yellow uniforms pushed into the front door of our house, and the lawn was covered with my Alpha Lambda Alpha frat brothers and their dates in various stages of undress. It’d been a date night. Well, not for me, but still.
Coughing, I sidled over to Tray. “Hey. What the hell happened? Was it Bubba?” God knows it wouldn’t be the first time Bubba’d decided to dry his jock in the oven.
Traynor Blackstone, my best friend on the campus, shook his head. “No clue.” He turned his handsome face and really looked at me. “What happened to you? One minute, I handed you a beer and then poof.”
“Had to study.”
“Come on, my man. I know you’ve got tough-ass classes, but football