what I meant.”
“Back in my day, we walked to school uphill both ways,” Louise says, hijacking the conversation.
As soon as Ethel and Josie are off and running with Louise about their childhood horror stories, Nana leans in. “Something’s off about you tonight, Cora. What happened during the haunted hayride? You can’t fool your Nana.”
The confession is so soft it almost isn’t even there. “We kissed.”
Nana unscrews the top of her favorite red dauber. “He hissed at you?”
For a second, I forget that Nana’s a little hard of hearing, and I get even closer to her ear. “I kissed Blaine.”
“No!”
At Nana’s outburst, the entire table stops speaking and a pall of uncomfortable and unusual silence settles in.
Louise pops a deviled egg into her mouth. “Why does Blanche look like Woody Woodpecker when he takes a frying pan to the head?”
Nana puts a wrinkled hand over her mouth. “I can’t say.”
Josie rears back. “Well, somebody better say. I don’t have much life left and if you want me to weigh in before I die, I need to know what the hell is going on.”
I put my hands around my mouth like I’m about to yodel into the Grand Canyon but keep my voice low. “I kissed Blaine.”
“It’s about damn time!” Josie hisses and then she gives me a thumbs up.
“Was it a nice kiss?” Ethel asks, her eyes widening.
“Was there tongue?” Louise jumps in, doing a little happy dance in her chair. “Oh, please tell me there was tongue. We’ve waited so long.”
Roxie holds up a hand. “Let’s just give Cora room to tell us in her own time and in her own way. It’s a private matter, between the two of them. If you don’t want to give us the details, Cora, we don’t need them.”
“The hell we don’t!” Josie roars, her big belly jiggling along with her fake outrage.
“Yes, it was nice. And yes, I guess there was a little tongue.” No need to tell them the down and dirty details and get them even more wound up.
Josie’s gaze tracks over my face. “Did it get your panties in a wad?”
“Is that another one of your sayings from back in the day, Josie?”
“B-10,” the caller says as he starts the first game, saving my butt from old lady advice.
I grab my dauber and get to work, but I only have one B-10 on my three-card strip of paper, so it doesn’t take me long.
Josie leans forward, teal blue dauber dangling from her chubby fingers. “Well, did it?”
A queasy feeling laced with regret tugs at my gut. “It was… nice.”
She snorts. “That tells me nothing. You’ve been waiting to kiss the man for twenty years, Cora. If it was just nice, maybe he’s not the one.” She throws her arms wide. “It should have been explosive!”
Ethel leans forward. “Maybe you should… you know. Just to be sure.”
“You mean have sex?” Josie just about shouts. “Not a bad idea, Ethel. Try the filet mignon before you buy the entire side of beef.”
The bingo bullies one table over stare at us and one of them puts her bony finger up to her blue lips.
I slink down into my chair and push my long hair into my face. If I don’t die of embarrassment from their constant oversharing, it will be a miracle.
“N-33.”
Ethel hangs her head. “No, that’s not what I meant.”
“Well, spell it out, Ethel. And use your outside voice.”
Instead of responding, Ethel just points underneath the table while Josie leans over and daubs at the same time.
“You want Cora to grab his crotch? Yeah, better to know now if he has a pencil dick. My first husband had a pencil dick. Once I needed readers, I couldn’t find the damn thing,” Josie says.
“G-54.”
Louise heaves a sigh. “I’ve got nothing even close to a bingo. Why doesn’t he call my numbers ever? I want to win just this one time. Is that too much to ask? I’ve never won in all the years we’ve been playing. Bingo hates me!”
Ethel shakes her head, her glasses about falling off her pert nose.
Roxie takes a sip of her brandy. “Well, I think it’s way past time the two of you get together. The door has swung open, Cora. All you need to do now is walk through it.”
“I-22.”
After a few lines of whispering back and forth, Josie finally figures out what Ethel’s talking about and slaps the table. “Not a bad idea, Ethel. And since Cora has teeth, hers won’t fall out on the man’s abdomen