week, but my world felt so empty without him in it. I didn't know if I'd be able to handle more of this. Waiting to find out whether there was anything we could salvage was unbearable. I wanted to be able to make amends; to spend as long as it took making it up to him. If that wasn't an option, I needed to know sooner rather than later. I couldn't exist in this space in between.
That was something I planned to talk to him about once his session was over. For now, I had to make sure I was available to support him with anything he needed. Though he hadn't asked me for it, I let him know I was around.
"If you need a ruling on something, I can help," I said before he started, "but trust your instincts. The kids will follow your lead."
"Thanks," he said, seeming distracted.
I tried not to be hurt by the brush off and moved to stand out of the way as people packed into Horizon's main room. We'd been able to secure more space than usual, but there were only so many chairs. When Keith and Tina showed up -- I hadn't officially asked them but did drop a few hints -- I beckoned them to stand near me.
"How's it going?" Keith asked, looking over at the table. "Jesus, that's a lot of kids. Don't you normally have like four or five?"
"Six at the most," I said. "A couple more were interested in trying the game and I mentioned if Reuben was up for it, this session would be a good intro."
He was managing eight players now though, many of whom were from David's group and very particular about the numbers of the game. I knew they'd correct him. Many, many times. I just hoped Reuben could stay patient with all of them and not get flustered. Sometimes it was hard even for me.
"How are you doing?" Tina asked, coming up to give me a one-armed hug from the side.
"Oh, you know. Just having to stand here and watch the person I care about do something that has way more importance than it should, all while grappling with the fact that he may not be my boyfriend anymore."
"So just a normal Saturday," she joked.
I did laugh at that. I had to. Laughter was all I had these days to keep from crying, and I was grateful for Tina. Even for Keith, who seemed to be turning over a new leaf of sorts. I had no idea what happened to him, but I liked this new version. It felt more... authentic.
"Never expected to find a standing room only D&D event," came a voice I didn't recognize.
The man who approached was a little younger than me but well-built. He had kind eyes, but an almost mischievous smile.
"I'm Brendan," he said, extending his hand. "I work with Reuben."
"Oh, yeah, of course!" I shook his hand, his grip firm but not crushing. "He's mentioned you before. I'm Elliot, these are my friends Tina and--"
"Hey Keith," Brendan said. "Long time no see."
I looked at Keith, expecting a quip to come flying from him. Something wildly inappropriate, no doubt, but no quip ever came. Not even a half-hearted one. He was barely able to meet the man's eyes and was so full of nervous energy I thought he was going to vibrate through the floor.
"Hey," was all he managed.
Brendan didn't push it, but Tina and I both looked at Keith, eager to know the details. A bit of the old Keith shone through when he flipped us off in the most theatrical way possible.
Brendan chatted with Tina and I for a bit, all while Keith pretended to be engrossed in the pre-game setup the kids were doing. I was definitely going to have to hound him about this later.
Looking around, though, I didn't see the one person who needed to be here. For the longest time it was just those who'd already assembled, until finally I heard the door swing open again and saw the woman I knew must be Ruth, even if I'd never met her in person. She looked too much like Reuben to be anyone else.
She took up a spot on the other side of the room and Reuben was finally able to get started. I could tell he was nervous. He stumbled over the intro, setting the scene for the dungeon he'd designed. To keep things moving swiftly, I'd suggested he have the kids make