if things were different -- like our personalities being even remotely aligned, or me meeting him after Barb's death -- I might have carried a torch for him. I just couldn't see him as that, though. Even for a bit of casual fun.
"How are things at Horizon going, Elliot?" Tina asked, gracefully changing the subject before Keith launched into another rant.
"They're going great," I said with a grin, not bothering to hide the enthusiasm in my voice. "We're starting a new story arc on Friday. I've got some fun surprises planned that the kids are going to love."
"Ah, shit. I forgot you had that going on still."
I blinked at Keith. This was definitely one of the ways he was... not so great. I volunteered every Friday. Usually Saturday and Sunday, too. Sometimes during the week when it wasn't testing season. He knew that.
"What did you do, Keith?" Tina asked, narrowing her eyes at him.
"I maybe signed us up for this speed dating thing," he waved his hand dismissively. "Straight- and gay-friendly. I figured it'd be good for you to get some numbers."
"Isn't your match on Saturday?" I asked incredulously, knowing full well he was going to take someone home after that and probably get very little sleep.
He made a dismissive sound. "I'm a grown-ass man, it's fine."
"Well, I can't do it. Sorry, grown-ass man. You'll have to get laid without me."
"Or I could skip the speed dating and get laid with you," he said, lifting his brows suggestively.
I rolled my eyes, dipping my fingers into my water glass and flicking some at him. "Ass."
"Is that a request to see it, or just an observation that I have one?"
"Oh my God," Tina mouthed, letting out a groan. "Could you try to be slightly less horny for once?"
"Mm, no can do."
"Actually," I interrupted, "that... kinda leads into something I wanted to talk about." I could already see Keith's puppy eyes turned toward me. "No, it doesn't involve you and me. I actually... don't think dating is a bad idea. I think I could be ready for that. I hope."
Tina reached an arm around me, giving me a squeeze. "That's great news, hon. I'm super proud of you."
"Yeah, man. I mean, I totally agree, obviously, but I'm glad you got there on your own, too," Keith reached across the table to clap me on the shoulder.
"I've downloaded some apps, but I just... need to take the leap, I think." Reaching up, I rubbed at the back of my neck, the fine stubble of a recent haircut prickling against my fingers. "I actually think I might want to test the waters and date a guy."
"Hook up with a guy," Keith corrected.
I arched a brow at him, waiting for the explanation.
"You want to hook up with a guy. You don't want to date a guy before you've fucked a few. Trust me."
"Oh boy," Tina muttered, "here we go."
"What, it's true! There's nothing worse than getting stuck with a guy who's terrible in bed."
"I'm pretty sure there's worse," she said, continuing to glower at him.
Normally I'd agree with Tina. And I did, in theory. I also had no idea what it was like to date or sleep with a guy. The way Keith tended to complain about his dating life, it seemed like there was a clear difference between dating a guy and dating a girl. Not that I had much experience with that, either. I met Barbara my freshman year of college and we were married as soon as we both graduated.
The thought of actually dating someone was terrifying to me. But one night, no strings attached? I could probably do that. Who didn't have the occasional fantasy about fucking a stranger? There was something universally appealing about it because it was just taboo enough to be thrilling without being that big of a deal.
"Let's say... I did want to just hook up with somebody," I said cautiously.
Keith's eyes lit up immediately, and Tina whipped her head to the side to stare at me, eyes wide.
"Seriously? You're agreeing with him?"
"Of course he is. He's not ready to date, but I bet he's tired of just jacking it by himself."
I felt heat pool in my cheeks. He wasn't wrong, but I didn't exactly want that advertised.
"Hey, could you maybe be a little quieter when shouting my personal business to the world?" I hissed.
"Tell me I'm wrong."
I rolled my eyes but didn't dispute it. "You can pat yourself on the back later. I need some advice. I