I let it slide for now. It’s going to be a while before I can stand up, let alone catch my breath enough to scold him.
Chapter Eighteen
Callie
“Well, hello,” Sebastian says.
“What’s a nice guy like you doing in a place like this?”
He grins. “I feel right at home. Everyone’s always saying I act like I was brought up in a barn.”
We lie facing each other on the sofa, entwined and sticky with sweat. The late afternoon sun pours through the gauzy cotton curtains, making patterns on Sebastian’s naked flesh. Idly, I trace them with my fingers.
“What are you thinking?” he murmurs into my hair.
“Nothing.”
“Liar.”
He’s right. I have plenty on my mind, and I could hide from my feelings like I usually do, but this feels too big. Too important.
Wriggling a little, I throw open my barricades and risk having my tender heart crushed by Sebastian Monroe. Again.
“Okay, a little while ago I said I wasn’t thinking about the future, I was only thinking about what I wanted right now. Which was true when I said it because you’re sexier than socks on a rooster and I really, really wanted to enjoy carnal knowledge of your entire body. But now I’m wondering where this is going.”
“Me too. Because I want more.” He slides his finger under my chin and gently turns my face towards his. “I want to try to make it work.”
His words wrap around me and stroke me, making me shiver with their pleasurable heat. “Define ‘it’.”
He strokes my hair. “I want you to be my girl.”
“You want us to be together…and exclusive?”
Instantly he goes rigid, his muscles strung taut like bow-strings. “Why? Who else did you want to date?”
I burst out laughing. As if I’d want to date other men while I was seeing Sebastian. I was only asking because I worry about all the groupies throwing themselves at him on a regular basis.
“Well, I saw that accountant the other day and I was thinking, now, there’s a man who can add, subtract, and divide. And he always has a calculator in his pocket. I mean, how sexy is that?”
His body is stiffer than Junebug’s hair after she’s sprayed six cans of hairspray on it.
“Good gravy, Sebastian, I’m kidding! I haven’t seen him since we broke up. He moved to Charlotte. And I’m the one who needs to worry. You have so much temptation every single day.”
He stares down into my eyes, his gaze burning with intensity. “You’re my only temptation, Callie. Those women aren’t temptation. They’re strangers who want to have sex with a famous rock star, and yeah, they’d also love to be the girlfriend of a famous rock star. Any famous rock star. That’s not what I want. I’ve never slept with a groupie. The women I’ve dated have been a couple of fellow musicians, an actress, and a photographer, and it never worked out.”
“Why is that?”
He shrugs, a frown creasing his forehead.
Back off.
No. This matters too much. If I’m going all in, I need to know what I’m in for.
If you push him, he’ll leave.
Then he wasn’t worth keeping.
“Excuse me.” Sebastian taps my forehead with his finger. “What exactly is happening in your head right now?”
I bat his finger aside. “The voices in my head are having a lively conversation. They want to know why your past relationships didn’t work out, and why this one would be different.”
“Tell the voices that none of them were the right woman. None of them made me feel like you do.”
“Is that the only reason?” I push him. “I feel like there’s more to it than that.”
“Is that you asking, or is that the voices?” He flashes me a brilliant smile. “Just so I know what I’m dealing with.”
“Is that you being charming and deflecting my question?”
“By God, I think it is. I didn’t even realize I was doing it.” Sebastian gives me a rueful nod of acknowledgement. “Thinking back, I guess things fell apart because I always put the band first. I’d start dating someone, and we’d have some good times when the band wasn’t that busy, and then things would get busy. We’d be recording or going on tour. I would forget to call for days…” He winces. “Okay, if I’m being honest, weeks, on end, and by the time I remembered to call, they were long gone. And very pissed off at me. And I’d feel mildly bad, but not as bad as I should have.”
The mere thought of him having “good times” with other women