we’re calling this case? It’s kind of awkward. Let’s workshop it.”
How am I related to these people? And how can I get them to stop trying to expose me? “I think we have better things to do with our time than sit around and gossip,” I say severely.
“Since when?” Harper, Daisy, Savannah, the mayor, Jolene, Sandy Sue, and Cora Belle all say at the same time.
I stare at them with glazed eyes, and the only thing that comes to mind is that we definitely need to broaden the gene pool in this town.
“She does have a very nice butt,” Savannah says, peering closer. “Firm, perky, round. Almost as good as mine. It looks kind of familiar, actually. What do you think, Callie? Have you seen this butt around town?”
“Butt watch!” Harper says enthusiastically. “We’re on a butt watch! We could put up wanted posters. ‘Have you seen this butt?’”
I can feel my cheeks heating up again. I leap to my feet. “I cannot handle this without alcohol. Where is that waitress? I’ll be right back.”
Then my phone alerts me to a text message. Saved by the bleep.
I check. It’s Sebastian.
SOS. Emergency. Come meet me at the barn.
Okay, given that we’re not even speaking to each other, for him to send a text like that, it must be a genuine emergency.
I wave goodbye. “You gossip hounds will have to unravel the mystery without me. Or you could, you know, do some planning for the Tricentennial, or just about anything useful.”
Daisy shakes her head with a pitying expression. “Have you ever heard of fun, Callie? It’s in the dictionary. Under the letter ‘ph’. ‘P-h-u-n.”
My right eye twitches. “Now you’re just trying to aggravate me.”
“I’ll keep misspelling words until you spill your secret.”
Sometimes I forget my sister is made of pure evil, and she knows my weaknesses. She never lets me forget for long, though.
“Don’t you have a baby to burp? Where is he, anyway? Did you forget him somewhere?”
“Did I have a baby? That sounds vaguely familiar. I must have left him on a park bench or something.” She sees my horrified look. “Chase has him, you twit. Hey, at least I don’t bring my baby to loud bars, unlike your friend Jen.” She shakes her head. “I never did like Jen.”
“You met her once, ten years ago. And she did not bring her babies to the bar! I told you she left them with a neighbor!”
“Sure she did.” She looks around the table and snaps her fingers to get everyone’s attention. “I don’t think we’re paying enough attention to whatever secret Callie is keeping. Add it to your list of mysteries, Harper.”
“Callie’s got a secret?” Sandy Sue’s eyebrows shoot up. “That’s a new one. Usually Daisy’s the one with something to hide. Occasionally Naomi. But Callie’s supposed to be the boring Abernathy. So what’s your secret?”
I scowl at her. “My secret is that my sister is a fruitcake who thinks people have secrets when they don’t. Okay, they’re calling me back to the hotel, gotta run!”
I don’t know how many more mad dashes through the heat I can survive in one day. What new disaster is waiting for me?
When I finally limp into the barn, Sebastian is sitting on a bale of hay, his guitar resting on his lap. They’ve got a corner of the room set up for a photo shoot, with hay bales and a pitchfork, a rusty shovel and buckets full of flowers.
“What’s…” gasp… “the…” gasp…“emergency?” I ask between huffs of breath.
My legs give out and I collapse onto the hay bale next to him.
“The emergency is, I saw you in the apple grove earlier today, and you looked like you were freaking out. I figured you could use a break. This was just the first chance I had to get rid of everybody.”
It takes me a good sixty seconds to be able to speak without wheezing. “I was trying to look calm. Was it really that obvious?”
Sebastian smiles, and laugh lines crinkle around his eyes. “I’m sorry, but yes. I actually kind of like it that you can’t hide your emotions, though. You’re just you. You’re raw and honest. Also, lots of people lie to me and you literally can’t.”
“Thank you?” I laugh ruefully. “I know my acting skills aren’t the best. I’m probably the worst choice for a fake fiancée.”
“Not at all. When you’re in costume and in the moment, you do great.”
That’s true. Maybe it’s because once we settle into our dates and stop sparring,