but how much I need him.
My lips go on their own exploration, I suck and lick his scruffy jaw and down the column of his neck, rubbing my nose in his hair, letting my senses learn him, absorb him again.
Enjoy him again. “You smell so good.”
He tugs at the hem of my turtleneck and I lift my arms over my head so he can yank it off. He cups one of my breasts through my tank top and squeezes before he lowers his head and sucks my throbbing, aching nipple into the hot pleasure palace of his mouth. I shout his name and reach down with desperate, grasping fingers to tug his shirt off, too.
I grip the hem of it and I pull, my fingernails scraping him at times until his shirt is over his head. The press of his warm, firm skin against my own now topless body is akin to relief. I run my hands greedily over his smooth skin.
“God, I’ve missed you.” He groans into my neck. He unbuttons my jeans, shoves them down my hips. I shove his sweatpants down and reach between us to wrap my hand around his thick cock. My fingers can’t close around it completely and I pulse in anticipation of having him inside me again. He slips his hand into my panties and cups my pussy. I grind against his palm and moan at how dizzying the pleasure is.
The voice of reason is telling me that I’m making a mistake. That this is the last thing I need to do given what he’s just told me. It’s nearly drowned out by my rebel heart’s shout of joy at how wonderful it feels to be in his arms.
Nearly…
“Wait,” I breathe.
“Shit, you’re so fucking wet,” he whispers against my ear.
“Remi, wait.” I let go of his cock and shift so his hand slides out from my panties.
He stiffens and pulls off me immediately and hovers over me. “What’s wrong?”
A bead of sweat falls from one of the curls that’s hanging on his forehead. It lands on my cheek. He leans down, his heat and breath as heady as the weight of him on me. He glides the tip of his tongue over the spot on my cheek where his sweat fell.
“Remi, this isn’t what I came for. I’m not ready,” I pant and press a hand to his chest. His hot eyes bore holes into me. He swoops down and gives me the most perfect kiss.
Not as perfect as the sweet friction of him sliding into my body would have been. But, it wouldn’t just be sex. Not to me. My feelings for him are right below the surface. I can’t afford to let them spill over.
So I sit up and pull my clothes on. “Let’s talk first.”
Chapter 27
CATCHING UP
REMI
* * *
She’s sprawled on top of me, her head resting on my shoulder, her eyes closed. Our chests rise and fall in almost perfect unison and we lie there in silence, trying to catch our breaths and gather our thoughts.
That was unexpected. I lost my mind for a second. I break the silence with my confession.
“I want to say I’m sorry because I kind of just attacked you. But Kal, I’ve been waiting for you to be free for me to do that for what feels like nearly half my life.”
She slides her pretty brown eyes over to me and lifts the corner of her mouth in a satisfied smile. “I know. I’ve been waiting, too.”
Surprise has me sitting up, thinking I missed something.
“Really? I thought… you know, you were building a life. I thought you were happy.”
“Happy?” She looks away, her expression thoughtful. She sighs and shakes her head. “No, but she didn’t ask to be born, I chose to have her. And I wanted Bianca to have a stability I didn’t. In hindsight, it was completely misguided. Her life has been in constant upheaval for the last couple of years. I’m just finding my feet.”
Her smile is tight and forced. And just like when we were kids, I feel compelled to make it reach her eyes.
I shake my head at her. “Well, shit. I take my first vacation in nearly ten years and the world stopped turning. You motherfuckers can’t survive without me.”
She throws her head back and chuckles. “Thank the Lord your ego is still intact.”
I nudge her shoulder. “I mean, it. You being happily married was something I’d come to accept as fact.” I nod to my fridge. “It’s