today. Shut this shit down now and then I’m done playing nice with him,” I say.
“Okay. You can be done playing nice with him. But Hayes, is there any way at all, that the paternity test could come back anything other than what you expect? This is an extraordinary move they’ve made. If it’s a Hail Mary, it’s a hell of a gamble.”
“I have a birth certificate with my parents’ names on it. I have the same blood type. I look just like my father and my grandfather. This is ridiculous. It’s an attempt to embarrass me. Send me the details on when and where I can take the test. The sooner the better and I want those results expedited.” I glance down at my watch. I’m late meeting Confidence, and I almost want to text her and ask her to meet me back at her place, but I’m not going to let this asshole ruin more than he’s already tried to.
“I’ll send you the court order. I advise you go to a random lab instead of your doctor for the test. Just to avoid any questions about tampering or manipulation of their process.”
“Fine. I’ll be looking for it. I’ve gotta go,” I say before I hang up.
I should have thanked her. That couldn’t have been an easy call to make. My mind is reeling. My uncle must really hate me to have done this. A paternity test. It’s ridiculous.
And yet … my mind is not easy. I have a kernel of dread in my gut that I will ignore until I don’t have to. But it’s burrowed itself into the lining of my life; its sharp, thorn-like tip burns as it embeds itself into the story of my life. And with every step I take, it burrows deeper and it feeds on years of being denied my rightful place at the head of this family. I’ve been too soft. I’ve been distracted by my feelings. I feel a wash of shame. I’ve had my eye off the ball trying to win Confidence back. I should have seen this coming. I let a woman pull me off course once, and I lost pieces of my legacy that my father scarified for. And I’m letting it happen again.
“But, she’s not just a woman,” my better angels remind me. I ignore them. I can’t let this happen again.
I rush out the door, already late to meet Confidence but slowing my steps because I’m not ready for what I need to do. When I think of what my uncle’s shit is about to cost me … the kernel in my gut pops and the blooms are soaked in shock, resentment, and rage.
CONFIDENCE
* * *
I glance at my phone for the third time. Hayes is never late. But, it’s Saturday. I was a little nebulous about the time, he just erred on the other side of eleven o’clock. I turn around and look at my hair again. She didn’t do a permanent color, but she rinsed it with a golden blonde that makes it look like spun gold in the light. She cut it so it skims my shoulders. I feel naked and cold. But my face looks more … I don’t know … visible.
I’m pregnant.
I stare at my reflection and try to see how I’m different. I must be different. Right?
Hayes and I blended our cells together to create a miracle. I think I’m in love already and all I’ve seen is a blue line. Hayes’s DNA has coalesced with mine. That little amalgamation of us has burrowed into my womb and will take from me, blood and marrow. Teeth and bone. And a life will grow from it. I’m falling in love at the speed of light with a blue line. I do what I have been too afraid to since I took four pregnancy tests in the bathroom of Blush. I laugh.
I want to wait and get a blood test before I tell Hayes, but I’m not sure that I can. There’s not a single solitary cell in my body that expects him to be anything less than jubilant when I tell him. We are in such a good place. The litigation with Kingdom is moving along, but so are his side-by-side efforts to help alleviate the suffering of his tenants while they’re in legal limbo. I’ve watched him write checks from his personal account this week that, no matter how much money he has, must have stung a little. But