how I was rolling today: cool, calm, and casual. The three cs.
Hopefully, followed by cock.
35
The library was quiet when I entered. This in and of itself was not that odd. There were often times that the goblins who ran the place were the only ones around. But today, teamed with the fact that I was trying to win this bet and Shadow had warned me he was going to make it tough, there was a stink of him in the air.
Gaster came into sight after a few minutes, dashing around with an armful of books.
“Hey, Gaster!” I called, waving him over.
Frantic eyes darted in my direction, and outside of a muttered “Too busy, sorry,” he wouldn’t even make eye contact. This happened over and over, no one coming near me, speaking to me, or looking in my direction if they could help it. The few times anyone did accidentally catch my eye, the panic in their faces was hysterical. At least it would have been if I wasn’t completely fuming about this bullshit.
When lunch rolled around, I slammed my way into the table, ordering in short clipped tones to the robot servers. They apparently were not off-limits, because I couldn’t have sex with them.
While I waited, I tried to control my breathing and calm down.
“Shadow got to everyone,” Angel said. “Bastard is unbeatable when you challenge him.”
In my fury I hadn’t actually noticed her there. “You’re allowed to talk to me?” I asked, exasperated.
She shrugged, an apple in her hand today, with a small break in the skin. Maybe the smell was stronger that way. “Shadow can’t control me. I don’t fear him or his particular brand of persuasion. He knows that, and we have reached our truce of sorts.”
I huffed. “Well, looks like I have to lose my virginity to you.”
She turned fully toward me, abandoning her fruit. “What’s a virginity?”
Oh, wow. Well, this was going to be an interesting conversation.
“So, like, humans when they haven’t had sex…” I trailed off as she grinned. “You know, don’t you?”
Her laughter was one of the prettiest sounds I’d ever heard. “Yeah, I’ve actually spent a lot of time monitoring the human world. I’m fairly fluent in your languages and expressions.”
“Why did you monitor Earth?”
She shrugged. “Family business, of sorts. Keeping an eye on certain human families, ensuring their longevity and safety.”
I swallowed hard. “Kind of like a guardian angel?”
Those ancient-as-fuck eyes rested on me, the depths plundered with pain and memories. “Yeah, something like that.”
For some reason, that hit me harder than almost everything else I’d learned in this fantasy library. Guardian angels felt like a god thing, and maybe this was where the scriptures had come from—mythical beings from Honor Meadows, seen around Earth…
She chuckled again. “I’m still the same reticent asshole you met on the first day here. Don’t paint me with a halo just yet.”
My lips twitched and I couldn’t stop laughter from spilling over. “Okay, fair enough.”
She scooted a little closer, wings bumping into me as she settled in. “Now, let’s figure out your Shadow issue.”
I loved that I had a friend to brainstorm with, because I was going to need all the help I could get.
“What’s your current plan?” she started.
Taking a bite of my sandwich, I chewed a few times, mulling it over. “At first, I thought I’d just use the library as my hunting grounds. Talk with everyone who came through, and see if any sparks happened naturally. But since Shadow has decided to play hardball, I need to be a little more aggressive in my approach.”
Taking another bite, I sighed at the delicious flavors dancing across my tongue. At least one aspect of today was still good. “The library will not work at all,” Angel said. “You’re going to have to choose a land and find your sexual match there.”
I nodded, swallowing before speaking. “Yeah, that was Plan B. I just was afraid of stumbling into an unknown world and somehow getting myself killed.”
Angel’s lips twitched. “What about Earth?”
I stilled. “I didn’t even think of Earth.” Once again, proving that the more time I spent away from my home planet, the less I felt connected to it. “But it does make sense. The easiest world for me to navigate is the one I’m from.” Not to mention, human dudes were basically walking dicks. Their downstairs brains were strong, and they had no qualms about taking someone home for one night.
Angel was full-on laughing again, and I had literally never seen her this animated