that's how it felt. I mean, I knew Big Life Picture he wasn't, but I didn't live in Big Life Picture. I lived in high school, and high school had a hierarchy that couldn't be ignored.
"Cara, ask me how things are going at Pennsbrook," Claudia said out of nowhere.
"Okay ... how are things going at Pennsbrook?"
"'Hell is empty, / And all the devils are there,'" she quoted.
I shook my head. "I don't know that one."
"That's okay. It's The Tempest, and I changed a word, but you get the idea. Pennsbrook is hell, Cara. I'm a Cubby Crew of one, with no chance to reinvent myself because I'm surrounded by zombieheads who made up their minds about who I was before I even knew. I would give anything to have the opportunity you have now. I'm just as interesting a person as the Supreme Populazzi—so are you—but I'll never have the chance to prove it."
Claudia's eyes bore into me, finishing her thought without saying it. I did have that chance. After ten years I was finally away from everyone who had labeled and categorized me and put me in a cubby—and now I was doing the same thing to myself.
"Pretty fancy speech just to get someone to dress like the undead," I said.
"Did it work?"
I walked back to the girl at the counter and handed her my credit card. "We're ready now."
Of course, Hot Topic was only our first stop in the day's transformational odyssey. From there we went to Sephora and grabbed several soft black eyeliners, thick black mascaras, smoky-colored eye shadows, and black nail polish. This time I didn't hesitate. I presented my credit card with a smile.
The next stop was more difficult. After we pulled into the parking lot, I had to close my eyes and breathe deeply to still my pounding heart. Claudia put her hand on mine. "You don't have to do this part, you know. It's okay if you can't."
I took another long, deep breath, then opened my eyes. "No," I said. "I want to."
We walked inside the shop. I strode the three steps to the front desk and smiled at the perfectly coiffed and painted woman behind the counter.
"Hi. I'm Cara Leonard, and I have an appointment for a hair relaxing."
I couldn't imagine myself without curls. From the time I was three years old, they'd been my trademark feature. I could wear them up, I could wear them down, I could tuck them behind a headband, but they were always there. People I hadn't seen in years would recognize me on the street because of my hair. My curls defined me; even my personality was curly, bouncy, springy, and playfully twisted.
But the look I wanted didn't include curls, and a simple blow-out wouldn't get me the style I needed. If I was going to go for it, I had to really go for it. Claudia had done tons of research on the best curl relaxers in Philadelphia and found Yumiko, the guru of the field. She used only a special relaxer from Japan that wouldn't damage the hair and wore out after two to three months.
I must have looked terrified when I sat in Yumiko's chair, because after she ran her hands through my curls, she looked at me in the mirror and gave me a big hug. "I promise you," she said, "you'll love it."
I had absolutely no reason to believe her, but I did. I took a deep breath, smiled, closed my eyes ... and didn't open them again until she was completely finished.
"Cara," I heard Claudia say, "it's over."
I didn't want to open my eyes, but I did ... and found a complete stranger staring at me in the mirror. She had the same wide, amazed expression I knew I was wearing, but otherwise she was totally alien to me.
Claudia bent down next to my face and looked that strange reflection in the eye.
"Claudia?"
She shook her head, then a smile broke across her face. "I love it. It's a whole new you."
Chapter Thirteen
I couldn't stop staring at myself in the mirror.
This wasn't ideal, since I was driving to school and almost caused a slew of accidents, but it was unavoidable.
I still wasn't over the hair. I'd had three days to get used to it, and it still shocked me every time I saw it. It was straight. Totally straight, not at all frizzy. It was layered for body, much thicker on the top than on the bottom, and hung down past